Author: dawnhirn

Adventure with Engagement AWE · Family

Square One

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Young kids gather around mom waiting for an elevator to take them fifteen floors down to the snack shop.  Ding!  Elevator opens, a kid rushes in. Doors close and mom realizes the arrow pointed UP.  What now? Mom remembers telling them:  “If we ever get separated always push LOBBY. Square One.  If there’s no LOBBY, push 1.

Often it is good to get back to Square One, in your life and especially in your marriage.  A crisis comes into each life and relationship sooner or later. The ‘easy way’ leads out.  But the hard way has a bigger payoff.  If you are wise, you gather up the fractured pieces and go back to the Square One, where things were fresh and more stable.   This is actually easier to do with kids than it is with partners.  But self-protection is rarely an aspect of a partnership.  Moms and dads are the hub of the family wheel.  And if the spokes don’t have a point of reference from the outer wheel to the inner hub – well, at best you’ve got wobble; and at worst, you’ve got collapse. The YouTube Video

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j0iXaNOAxnA

shows the NASA final check before launching the Endeavor in 2009.  Fabulous really!  And next time you feel strain in your family, take a minute to check out each system involved.  Make sure there are ‘no constraints and you are ready to launch.’  And if there are problems in your family and especially between mom and dad, address them personally before you head off in the wild blue yonder!

Repair your ship by going back to  Square One.   Ready, Set, Launch, AWE!

Dawnsquare one.jpg

Family travel

Trees

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I’m talking about family trees – you know, the ones that grow every which direction with funky branches, odd shaped leaves and often a few nuts.

How is yours holding up?  Have you bought into Ancestry.com yet?  Do you know if your ancestors were honorable people, or not?  Were they captains of the Mayflower, or of the Titanic?  There’s not really a lot you can do about it.  You have enough work to do to keep your own family tree solid.

Our family tree was hit by lightning, which took out one of our branches and shook the stability of the whole tree.   And since then, Ron and I have been working hard on strengthening our root system.  Hopefully, your tree won’t ever be exposed to such a hard hit.  But we all know, strong wind, disease, drought, too much rain, too much snow and too much weight can cause damage.  And does.

Neither Ron nor I are professed arborists.  But we recognize the value of keeping our family tree strong.  It takes lots of work!  It takes time to check out the branches, vision to be able to stand back and observe ‘tilt,’ knowledge to correct it, and willingness to prune. Every tree is held together by the root system.  Because sure as sunlight, there will be intense heat, rain, snow, wind, storms and disease to fight.  Roots allow you to bend, not break.

A strong root system will hold, so your branches can shoot out in many different directions, growing stronger in difficult situations.  We encourage our kids to express themselves, to reach out to new territory, to offer themselves as comfortable perches and feeding grounds to the fearful and hungry.   To provide shelter.

And mom and dad — you are the lifeline.  Lead by example.  Take care of your family tree and especially the root system.  So when you take a hit, others may look at you and say:  that tree survived regardless of the elements.  So it must be possible. Grow your family strong!Roots2.jpeg

Dawn

 

 

Adventure with Engagement AWE

AAH . . . .

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For the past two years I have been promoting the theme of Our Backpack, the TV show we are producing, and proudly calling for  “AWE” – “Adventure With Engagement.” I still do.  But there comes a time in the life of each mom when she realizes there is too much ‘Adventure’ and what she really needs is some AAH: “Adventure Alongside Rest.”

‘Me time’ has always sounded so selfish!  And impossible.  Mom’s rarely are able to unhinge themselves from kids.  We’re problem magnets!   A simple ‘shut up’ or ‘go away’ isn’t very ‘mom like.’   I choose my me-time outside, running or playing tennis, and swimming, or inside capturing the moments reading or writing. I know how to do it.But lately I need something more:  I need some ‘AAH’.  Because amidst the frenzy of family life, sometimes it is “All About Healing”.

Next week I am scheduling some well-deserved Ga. beach time which, coincidentally, is where I grew up, sitting by the ocean staring at more of Gods’ creations.   Regardless of my change of pace, there will still be AWE.  But this time, engagement will be ‘salve for the tired soul’:  appreciating the rhythm and predictability of the waves, the ever-changing light, skies and winds, the texture of sand, it’s feeling on my toes, the discovery of yet another shell,  whose twin sister sits at home in a jar, and soaking in the soil of my youth.

We have five senses.  I plan to use every of them:  To hear the surf and gulls, to see the vastness of the ocean, to smell the salty air, to taste the fresh seafood, touch the sand and the water.  Which, incidentally, will touch me right back because of my engagement.

Always AWE.  But this  next week . . . . AAH!

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Great weekend

Dawn

Encouragement · Parenting

Versatility

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The Olympics in Rio are over.  We are left with wonderful memories and some baggage we are having to take home that is, well “less than wonderful.”  But again, there are lessons for our kids in all of it:

The US Swimmers taught them:  “Don’t lie. Because nobody believes a liar even when they are telling the truth.” (And because of that you may lose millions of dollars in advertising sponsorships.)

Simone Biles gave a great lesson in ‘sharing the glory,’ as many of us will remember her pulling Aly Raisman the silver medalist into the spotlight for “all-around best” with her.

And who could forget the cheers that went up for the Refugee Olympic Team from South Sudan, Syria, the Congo and Ethiopia.  Great lesson in courage under fire.

So much of my take-away was from the stands – watching the parents of these athletes who had given their time, enthusiasm, comfort and encouragement, day after long day leading up to these games.  Kohei Uchimura, Japan’s Gymnastic King, held a sliver of hope to beat the Ukranian favorite.  But that’s all it took:  A .099-of-a-point- sliver.  All eyes were on his #1 fan – his mother Shuko, who passed out right there!   Can’t you relate?

Gladly we give our kids our time,  our wisdom and encouragement so they can achieve the goals in their lives.  Medal or no medal, we expect them to finish graciously.  It takes perseverance and blisters to reach a goal.  But never lose the importance of versatility.  I always tell my boys: “You are a multiplicity of talent.  Be more than a ‘one-hit wonder’.”

Olympic weightlifter.jpgLife runs best on versatility.  Learn the technique from Lithuanian Weightlifter Aurimas Didzbalis, who was so happy to qualify with a Bronze Medal, he flipped.  Literally.  Another day, another possibility.

Diversify!

Talk soon.  Dawn

Parenting

I heart mom!

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Moms.  We are a pretty good group – if I have to say so myself. After enduring nine long months of nausea, skin stretching and the final bone-ripping push, we give and are given – life.  After that, things change really quickly.

And just when we think we’ve got down the whole drill of being tough, tender, nurturing, supportive, intuitive, wise, tolerant, protective and encouraging, something happens that threatens our credibility.

My boys have always been involved in sports, probably because Ron and I love and have always participated in sports ourselves.  Action.  Exercise. It’s natural for us to be excited about practices and achievements, encouraging about disappointments and mistakes, always pointing out the payoff of ‘sticking with it.’

For some moms, it’s not quite so easy.  I heard the story of a mother who was so deathly afraid of the water she wouldn’t allow her only son near a pool or body of water.  Her fear transcended logic.  The boy is grown up now, but still shares his story:  “Mom told me I couldn’t go in the water until I learned how to swim.”

Needless to say, it wasn’t Michael Phelps’ mom. Michael recently admitted he hated the water when he was little. “It’s wild to kind of think about how far we’ve come. From my mom putting me in the water safety. I hated the water. I didn’t want anything to do with it. I learned on my back.” (USAToday) In essence, Michael was saying “I heart mom.”

As I have pointed out, each of my kids is a different story – different likes, different strengths, different weaknesses.  And definitely different talents.  It takes more than intelligence to recognize when a child is gifted.  It takes hands-on moms and dads to be there during hours and hours of practice before they run the race, swim the lap, or lift the weight.  It is our job to either encourage or redirect our kids according to their talents.

Michael’s mom certainly was intuitive about her son Michael, encouraging him to go beyond his aquaphobia and give swimming a go.  28 Olympic Medals(23 Gold) shine in her honor!

Glad she didn’t slap a guitar on him and send him off to try out for The Voice!

I’m sure he’s also relieved!  phelps.jpg

“Thanks, mom”

Adventure with Engagement AWE · Parenting

Hopeless Slackers

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Britton Peele of GuideLive asks. “Are adults who play ‘ Pokemon Go’ hopeless slackers?”   The Dallas Morning News recently received this comment:  “Games like Pokemon Go are for kids so if you are playing the game you are either a child, or jobless, or a virgin.”  And,  no doubt,  a hopeless slacker.

A month ago, I blogged about Pokemon Go,  pretty much slamming the experience as a Virtual Vacation.  Seemed dangerous to me.  Some players were falling off cliffs, walking into traffic and being snake-bitten. And I was certain people were exchanging the digital drama for real life Adventure.

Pokemon has always been  dear to my heart because of Ryan, my firstborn son’s love for the characters.   As a mother of resilience and determination  — my description of me —  I like to think that I am too strong  to succumb to a video game – especially one that commands so much time and energy.  But this  ‘tough mom’ also wants to be remembered as the ‘fun mom.’  And lately I’ve been noticing my boys are having more fun than I.

I had already downloaded the Pokemon Go app on my phone for Trenton, who is too young to have a phone.   I was curious. I’m the parent and my sons’ well-being is my responsibility!   (Isn’t that what parents say when they are peeking into kids semi-private lives?)

I started to play. Let me re-word that:  I caught the fever!!   And frankly, I have to hold myself back from digging into the app during any moment of down time.  Does this mobile video game get you out of your comfort zone and into a world of fresh air and wonder?  Yep!  Is it a time-sucker?  Absolutely.  But why should this kind of addiction be limited by age?  I still love a good water slide.

It is a parent’s responsibility to investigate the activities that get our kids sidetracked from their work at hand, but it’s also our job to be part of their lives, to experience the AWE of their adventures. I am enjoying this game.   We have some hilarious exchanges talking about it, and frankly, they’re impressed if not totally surprised that “Mom is really into it..”

Does the fact I enjoy Pokemon Go,  make me a hopeless slacker?

Gosh, I hope not.  I’ve got a television show to sell!

Dawnimages.jpg

Parenting

Comparisons

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“Why can’t you be more like . . . . ?”   Think back.  Has anyone ever said this to you?  Hurts – especially when they are comparing someone’s best quality to your worst fault.   (Which always seems to be the case.)

Colton is playing hand-me-down to Trenton’s former teacher this year.  And I’m nervous. Ron and I didn’t specialize in 1 ‘clone kid’ – each boy is totally different than the next.  And for the good of it and the bad of it, we never have compared.  (Mother’s of twins, you get this – right?)

Need a kid to bring his class to victory in a soccer match?   Choose Trenton.   How about leading the classroom in a good laugh to break the monotony?  Trenton – not so much.

If Colton’s new teacher wants him to get up in front of the class and conduct an interactive game of “Name that Flag,” Colton will shine!  Taking center stage with confidence, being uninhibited and making people laugh – Colton’s your man.  But if the teacher becomes unusually irritated by this show of extroversion, Colton is in for a spin.  And if the teacher spends any time comparing Colton to his older brother, the teacher will never discover what every parent inherently knows: related or not,  no two brothers are the same.

Being a teacher is difficult and some cases, virtually impossible.  Our teachers deserve tremendous respect and honor for what they do.  No teacher worth his or her salt would ever dream of intentionally comparing one student with another.  And yet, it happens.

We are waiting for the day Colton’s  ‘filter kicks in.’  And yet, when it does,  we will miss the old days when he had us all in hysterics.  Ironically, Trenton and Colton bring out the best in each other.  They’re an incredible duet. (But that’s another modern miracle I’ll tell you about one day…)

And things usually even out.  It’s difficult to use the classroom as a platform for individuality.  We are told to encourage diversity.  But what are we really saying?

Now, go hang up that uniform and get to your homework!

Dawn

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Adventure with Engagement AWE · Travel

Just Say “No”

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RIO DE JANEIRO—“The single most difficult and dangerous maneuver in women’s gymnastics—and maybe the most daring of the entire Olympic Games—won’t be attempted by anyone on Team USA.” THE WALL STREET JOURNAL, 8/7/16 Cohen and Radnofsky

As the Olympic feats become more and more difficult, coaches ask themselves:  “When is enough, enough?”  “The Produnova vault is too dangerous,” say our US Gymnastics’ Team Members and Coaches. Sure it would get you some hefty points if it were done correctly.  But if not, you face death or paralysis.

Daredevils come in every shape and size, and to those who are Daredevil Travelers, we beg you to do your homework.  Find out about the dangers of the country you plan to visit before you book your trip.  When we traveled together as a family, our leader Ron, made sure the places we were going were relatively safe.  We knew we would not be tracking wild boar in Pakistan nor heading deep into the Sudan.  Lebanon and Syria were also on our ‘Just say “NO” list.’ And if you’re thinking of checking out that sweet little country that sits between Turkey and Russia, described as “the Alps meet the Mediterranean,” better find another song and get “Georgia off your mind.”

The world is full of wonders!  Before you travel, check with the US State Department www.travel.state.gov/alerts,  for alerts and tips.  Check out the site: www.lonelyplanet.com.

Do your homework to make sure the adventure outweighs the risks.  Terrorist attacks can happen anywhere in the world.  But make sure you are looking logically at the risk, not your own uncertainty of its degree. Life is full of danger.  After we lost our son in a car fire just a few miles from home, we realized, staying close to home is no guarantee of safety.   But planning ahead and common sense go a long way!

We still heartily recommend AWE – Adventure With Engagement.   But before you race toward your next international adventure –  or your next Produnova Vault, check out the risks.  And learn when to Just say “No.”

But to all the other stuff, remember:

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AWE baby!

Dawn

Encouragement

Impossible

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Every four years we are treated to event after event highlighting the impossible. Greater, higher, faster, smoother and more dangerous –this is the stuff the Olympics are made of!

Thanks to the magic of marketing, we are learning a bit about the backstories of these who endure the ‘thrill of victory, and the agony of defeat.’ It’s not quick. It’s not easy. And very often the true unspoken heroes sit in the stands with knots in their bellies, praying for their little children who have worked so hard to get here.

Ron and I have had a taste of hard work, training for a marathon, and I for triathlons. But honestly, this wasn’t our first taste of ‘training for the seemingly impossible.’  When we lost our son Ryan, continuing on with a normal life for us, seemed as impossible as doing The Anamar Vault or Handspring front entry onto a four-inch beam. We knew surviving our loss required practice. And that’s what we did. Every day we got a little bit stronger, a little better.

We had help. We had encouragement from friends and family. I don’t know how you live life without it. And during that time we trained by them and helped with encouraging words and inspiration to ‘go on with their race.’

In Barcelona’s Summer Olympics, 1992, Derek Redmond tore his hamstring halfway through the semi-final 400 meter race. Redmond refused to give up and despite the horrible pain, kept limping toward the finish line. Nobody could believe what happened next: Derek’s father jumped over the railing from the stands to help his son finish the race.

A few yards from the finish line, his father let go so his son could finish the race by himself.

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Though Derek didn’t win the race, he experienced the real thrill of victory which is found in giving and accepting help from others who have faced the impossible.

Have a great Olympic-viewing weekend!

Dawn

Adventure with Engagement AWE · Family

Homegrown AWE

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What’s special about the place you live? If you put a price tag on value, you are missing the AWE boat.   Because sure as rain is wet, there is a back-story to your area.

This past week we invited most of our ‘kin’ to Lake Martin providing them great family engagement, plenty of food (healthy and junky) and we assigned them corners for ‘adventure sleeping.’ Kids are so adaptable and while nobody got the bathtub, blankets and sleeping bags were everywhere.   Cousins, Aunts, Uncles, Brothers, Sisters, and one or two ‘strays’ joined the party. Aunt Dawn, the promoter of AWE (Adventure with Engagement) left herself no ‘me time’. I was determined that aside from the normal boat trips around the 44,000-acre lake, we were going to find adventure! Together!!

750 miles of Lake Martin is wooded shoreline, provided by a host of funky little islands. Chimney Rock (aka Acapulco Rock) is a daredevil diver’s favorite, and we had all seen the risk takers climb sixty feet up to jump into 150 feet of deep water.   But that was one Adventure we would leave Without Engagement!

Instead we headed deep into the jungles of Goat Island.   We had heard about it – just north of Martin Dam, which has been rumored to be home to a large number of goats. We had questions: How did they get there? How long had they been there? Would we offer an extra bag of Cheetos to the explorer who found the first one?

We quietly approached Goat Island, and began our search. Whispers turned to giggles, and giggles turned to whistles and yells. Yet for some reason the goats remained invisible. We each had our theories about where they were hiding. Eventually, we all got back in the boat and headed around to the other side of the island.

And, ta dah! There they were: Goats. Baby goats, brothers, sisters, cousins, aunts, uncles and a few strays.   We came back with nothing but sandy feet, wonderful memories and stories that get more elaborate with each passing day.  But after all – isn’t that what AWE is all about?

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  THE END

Dawn