Faith · Hope · wounded healer · wounded Mother

The first heart to break

I believe that life is not selective and that all people, no matter who and where they are, are not singled out for disaster.hurricane

Think about Katrina in Louisiana or 9/11 in New York.

Are they SERIOUS when they call those disasters ‘‘acts of God’’?

When a disaster is so beyond explanation, ”It must be God-at-work.”

9:11

Think about it, we look at the destructive power of Nature, and we see that it’s out of control.

So we blame it on god. Even the insurance guys peddle protection against “acts of God.”

Do you really believe God singled out New Orleans and Manhattan?

Let me ask you a personal question.

Be honest.

Do you believe that God did and does all that chaos and damage, not to mention the killing?

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Ryan’s roadside cross in Texas 

I said it last week and I’m saying it again.

God’s is the first heart to break.

God’s is the first tear to fall.

dawn

 

Family travel

Starving for a loving God

Some believe that we are puppets and God is pulling the strings.puppet strings

Some believe that everything that happens is prearranged by God.

I know you’ve heard that before, and you might just believe it.

I did.  

I’d heard it most of my life, and it seriously affected my willingness to trust God.

I didn’t know it, but I was starving for a loving God.

Screen Shot 2019-02-20 at 2.43.47 PMIn time, a loving God found me.

After being drenched in love, I could no longer believe that God arranged our accident, or any accident.

Just so you know, let me tell you where I’m coming from.

I’m coming from the frontage road on a Texas freeway when our car flipped several times, caught fire, and my 7-year-old son burned to death.

That’s where I’m coming from.

And if you think Ryan’s death was a lesson to me from God, no offense, but you’re not thinking straight.

God’s heart was the first to break. God’s tears were first to flow.

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“God is Love.”

Now does that sound like a God who would plan an accident that kills a little boy?

I no longer believe that God arranged our accident or any accident.                 

dawn

Encouragement · Faith · Hope

A love that overcomes punishment

To set the record straight, I don’t think that “punishment” is God’s M.O.

spanking

God’s great Heart overflows with love.

That has been believed again and again through the centuries.

After the accident, it got so frickin’ hard for me to steer clear of fear of the Wrath of God.

Like I needed to carry around a lightning rod.

It’s easy to think that when we do something wrong God is eager to punish us.

Why would we think that?

Because we think God is like us, and we are a sad girlpunishing people!

Despite my battle scars, I have realized that God was not punishing Ron and me for something we’d done that caused Ryan’s death.

Original Love
Original Love

Underneath every tragic thing is “Original Love.”

Dawn    

To be continued…

Daily Instagram inspiration @dawnraymondhirn      

Faith · Family travel · Hope

My questions / Hopes’ answers

I’ve told you some of my deepest questions. Now I want to show you some of Hope’s answers:???

– I no longer believe that God is punishing Ron and me for Ryan’s death.

I no longer believe that God arranged our accident or any accident. God is LOVE.

–I believe that life is not selective. All people, whatever their color, creed, or cash are not singled out for disaster.

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Trenton and Colton in Jaipur, India

-I believe that death is basically random and we are simply caught in the crossfire.

These are my blessings, and sometimes my curse.

Dawn   

I want us to unpack each of these gifts in the next few weeks.  

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Encouragement · Hope

The anonymous injustice of life

I’ve always felt that life was unfair.

unfair

A blind man could see that.

Then came the accident and Ryan’s violent death, which proved, beyond a reasonable doubt that I was right: life is unfair.

Do you think life singles us out?

Or, that life is fundamentally against us?  

If that’s true, how can we ever Hope?

For years, I was paralyzed by the anonymous injustice of life.

I mean, is there anybody in charge out there?

I felt all helpless because I’d woken up so many times, only to realize there is no magic wand that fixes everything.wand

The magic was gone.

So, since life is unfair, what do we do?

We Hope again.

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Hoping. Again.

We have to.

It’s in our DNA.

Living without Hope takes away the now-ness of life, and wipes out the future.

But Hope, that beautiful four-letter word, restores our Faith.

I’m living proof!

dawn

Family · Hope

A total eclipse of me

As far as I know, I’ve never really been afraid of the dark.Screen Shot 2019-04-10 at 9.08.27 PM

That’s because I was born without the experience of Fear.

I outranked Fear.

When there would be a noise in the kitchen, my brothers and sisters would hide under the covers, while I would go downstairs alone to investigate.

Then, Ryan died, and Fear barged into my world.

It was like I was stuck inside a total eclipse of me.

I couldn’t see me.

I couldn’t feel me.

It was like when ‘’the lights went out on Broadway.’’bulb

And, I was lights-out in my heart.

I’d think the best thing I could do for everybody concerned was to swallow a bottle of pills and die.

Then, the sun would come up and my little Tyler would touch my arm.

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me and tyler

And I would know, “I’m still here!”

dawn

 

Family · Friendship · Relationship

Com-PAN-ioning

“The word is ‘’pan.’’

It means ‘’bread’’ in most every language.

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Trenton & Colton w/ Singapore friends

It suggests that ‘’breaking bread” together is at the heart of our companioning with God, family, and friends.

This is the center of our journey together that we’ve talked so much about.

There is an episode in the Book of Revelation where Jesus says, “I am knocking at your door. If you will answer and let me come in, we will eat together” (Rev. 3:20).  

What if Jesus is saying that eating together is a key to building relationships?

That he would choose food that we are homesick for?  A table is heavy with good grub. Think back for a moment over all the great meals you’ve shared. 

Did you ever feel that the one sitting across from you is the richest choice on the menu?

bread companioning.jpgIt suggests that ‘’breaking bread” together is at the heart of our companioning with God, family, and friends.

This is a part of our journey together that we’ve talked so much about.

There is an episode in the Book of Revelation where Jesus says, “I am knocking at your door. If you will answer and let me come in, we will eat together” (Rev. 3:20).  

Jesus might be saying that eating together is key to building relationships. Think back for a moment over all the great meals you’ve shared. 

Did you ever feel that the one sitting across from you was the richest choice on the menu?Screen Shot 2019-02-20 at 3.39.44 PM.png

dawn

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