I’m thinking about the big Blessing that happened to me.
I’m still not sure if I found it or it found me.
But I’ve got to tell you what was weird about it.
I found it in the Dark, not in the Light.
I couldn’t see my hand in front of my face.
Do you remember the story of the policeman who was going out the door to work the night shift and dropped his keys in the grass?
His wife came out to help him look.
He was walking up and down the curb.
His wife asked him, “Is that where you lost them?”
He said, “No, but the light’s much better here.”
I think that’s true for all of us.
We assume our Blessing is dancing in front of us in the light because that would make it easier to find.
But don’t forget, it took me 14 years to find it, and when I found it I knew immediately that the Blessing wasn’t for me to keep.
I was Blessed to be a Blessing to others.
I’ll tell you how the Blessing grew next time…
I started counting my Blessings: being a mother, enjoying a long and loving marriage, our healthy sons, and a purposeful life.
We’ve all experienced tragedies that we thought would follow us forever and stop the beating of our heart.
When Ryan was killed in the fire, my heart stopped and all I could see and hear was, “NOOOOO!”
There was no Blessing there on the frontage road in South Texas.
And it was emotionally exhausting to search for the Blessing.
It took me 14 years to get my ‘focus’ back.
But once I found it, it was like hitting a gusher.
I let it run down my face like oil and all the way down to my toes.
A record-breaking gusher of Blessings!
One big “Yes” overpowering the “NO!
I want to tell you the secret of how I found my big “YES!”
The Blessing that’s bigger than any Curse.
We’ll look together here next time.
We finished talking about “Hope’s” answers to my deepest questions.
I hope you have learned as much as the boys and I have.
Today our focus is about living in Blessings instead of crumbling under a Curse.
I usually think that it’s one or the other.
If you feel cursed, we tend to believe that it is the only reality within us.
Like if you are angry, anger is the only reality in your life.
But you are MORE than your anger!
I am MORE than my grief.
Getting through my own loss took more than a decade.
But I’ve changed. (It’s never too late).
I am a Blessings–Girl now.
To be continued…
I believe that death is basically random and most of us are simply caught in the crossfire.
Many of us are frozen in the right place but, at the wrong time.
They tell us that if we can just get to the right place we’ll be safe.
But you read about victims who are innocent bystanders.
“She didn’t mean to get in the way. But she was just in the wrong place at the wrong time.”
Here’s the thing, some think that God lies on his flat belly, taking potshots at us from a cloud.
We even say the death of those we love is the “Will of God.”
I’m saying, “Corral your paranoia, God is Love. There’s no target on your back.”
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I believe that life is not selective and that all people, no matter who and where they are, are not singled out for disaster.
Think about Katrina in Louisiana or 9/11 in New York.
Are they SERIOUS when they call those disasters ‘‘acts of God’’?
When a disaster is so beyond explanation, ”It must be God-at-work.”
Think about it, we look at the destructive power of Nature, and we see that it’s out of control.
So we blame it on god. Even the insurance guys peddle protection against “acts of God.”
Do you really believe God singled out New Orleans and Manhattan?
Let me ask you a personal question.
Do you believe that God did and does all that chaos and damage, not to mention the killing?
I said it last week and I’m saying it again.
God’s is the first heart to break.
God’s is the first tear to fall.
Some believe that we are puppets and God is pulling the strings.
Some believe that everything that happens is prearranged by God.
I know you’ve heard that before, and you might just believe it.
I’d heard it most of my life, and it seriously affected my willingness to trust God.
I didn’t know it, but I was starving for a loving God.
In time, a loving God found me.
After being drenched in love, I could no longer believe that God arranged our accident, or any accident.
Just so you know, let me tell you where I’m coming from.
I’m coming from the frontage road on a Texas freeway when our car flipped several times, caught fire, and my 7-year-old son burned to death.
That’s where I’m coming from.
And if you think Ryan’s death was a lesson to me from God, no offense, but you’re not thinking straight.
God’s heart was the first to break. God’s tears were first to flow.
“God is Love.”
Now does that sound like a God who would plan an accident that kills a little boy?
I no longer believe that God arranged our accident or any accident.
To set the record straight, I don’t think that “punishment” is God’s M.O.
God’s great Heart overflows with love.
That has been believed again and again through the centuries.
After the accident, it got so frickin’ hard for me to steer clear of fear of the Wrath of God.
Like I needed to carry around a lightning rod.
It’s easy to think that when we do something wrong God is eager to punish us.
Why would we think that?
Because we think God is like us, and we are a punishing people!
Despite my battle scars, I have realized that God was not punishing Ron and me for something we’d done that caused Ryan’s death.
Underneath every tragic thing is “Original Love.”
To be continued…
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