Parenting

Comparisons

“Why can’t you be more like . . . . ?”   Think back.  Has anyone ever said this to you?  Hurts – especially when they are comparing someone’s best quality to your worst fault.   (Which always seems to be the case.)

Colton is playing hand-me-down to Trenton’s former teacher this year.  And I’m nervous. Ron and I didn’t specialize in 1 ‘clone kid’ – each boy is totally different than the next.  And for the good of it and the bad of it, we never have compared.  (Mother’s of twins, you get this – right?)

Need a kid to bring his class to victory in a soccer match?   Choose Trenton.   How about leading the classroom in a good laugh to break the monotony?  Trenton – not so much.

If Colton’s new teacher wants him to get up in front of the class and conduct an interactive game of “Name that Flag,” Colton will shine!  Taking center stage with confidence, being uninhibited and making people laugh – Colton’s your man.  But if the teacher becomes unusually irritated by this show of extroversion, Colton is in for a spin.  And if the teacher spends any time comparing Colton to his older brother, the teacher will never discover what every parent inherently knows: related or not,  no two brothers are the same.

Being a teacher is difficult and some cases, virtually impossible.  Our teachers deserve tremendous respect and honor for what they do.  No teacher worth his or her salt would ever dream of intentionally comparing one student with another.  And yet, it happens.

We are waiting for the day Colton’s  ‘filter kicks in.’  And yet, when it does,  we will miss the old days when he had us all in hysterics.  Ironically, Trenton and Colton bring out the best in each other.  They’re an incredible duet. (But that’s another modern miracle I’ll tell you about one day…)

And things usually even out.  It’s difficult to use the classroom as a platform for individuality.  We are told to encourage diversity.  But what are we really saying?

Now, go hang up that uniform and get to your homework!

Dawn

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One thought on “Comparisons

  1. Here’s what I’m thinking of you Hirns:

    (Two things were very important to Jesus: Gift of Individuality; Gift of Imperfection).

    You and Ron began this with Ryan who had a magical gift of who he was and wasn’t. He knew who and what he liked, and who and what he didn’t. That’s one reason Ryan entered the Angel Band ahead of the game. You taught him to trust his gut, heart, and head. He was already natural. Great with others. And honest. Promotions come easy and often.

    You and Ron are giving these same Gifts to the rest of the boys: Individuality&Imperfection. They are usually un-up-tight; and un-piled with guilt for not getting it right.

    Jesus gave these same Gifts to his 12 friends. Each was different that the others. They were kaleidoscopic. And there was never only one map to get where they were going. (Just like there is more than one map to get to “Where We’re Going”). Jesus welcomed 12 other ways of seeing, hearing, tasting, smelling, touching. And 12 other ways of thinking, feeling, sensing, intuiting.

    This is one Big Hairy Gift you are giving to your boys. There’s no need to compete, all maps are welcomed. All opinions carry weight. And you can’t be wrong about whatever you’re feeling.

    God is an Imperfectionist. God created the world “good,” and once, “very good.” Not perfect. That’s why we don’t always know what we can count on from quakes to the weather; and that’s why there is an abundance of surprises. In fact, God’s other name is Surprise. So count on being surprised a lot, unless you sleep through it.

    Since it’s the Olympics, I guess you could say God Is An Amateur. God does what God does for the sheer Love of Life. Not for the pay-off. Naturally, Jesus brought that down-to-earth. Jesus was an Amateur. That’s probably why God created people in the first place. Life was so damn good that God couldn’t keep it to Himself. God had to share it.

    All I’m trying to say is that you two guys are getting it done. And kind of Godlike. Which is good because each boy comes from God. The resemblance is uncanny!

    Congratulations from the one of me to the two of you.

    kenny

    Like

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