When we set out to video document our family world trip, we had no preconceived notion of how things were going to go.    We were still grieving for Ryan. I guess we will always be.    Our boys deserved a full life which is never fully under control.  We were willing to be transparent for the next six months, with the hope that our story would help others living under the shroud of fear which seems to swallow those who have lost loved ones in tragic accidents.

It wasn’t a comfortable decision.  Recovering from burns on over 25% of your body was tough for each of us and required continuous personal ‘upkeep.’  When you have skin grafts, the healthy skin is removed from one healthy area of your body to repair the damaged part somewhere else.  You have to treat two sites, keeping sites clean and creamed.  You can’t escape the pain or discomfort.   Stretching my grafted legs became a necessary routine for me, and the sun which I had always loved, had become my enemy.

Even so,  we embraced a challenge.  A family adventure – more than 30 countries, together all day and night, every day and night for over 180 days straight, so:

1. We put ourselves in extreme circumstances of unfamiliarity.
2. We faced our fears of losing another child, by reminding each other we would not be defeated.
3. We took our boys out of the safety of the home ‘training ground’ and pushed them into the ‘proving ground’ of public scrutiny.
4. And the videographer exposed us for who we really are under pressure.

What did we hope to gain in exchange for our transparency?    Recovery.  Restoration.  Reward.  Renewal . . . .  for ourselves and others who had been fractured from loss and grief.  We had faith in each other – faith in our family – faith in our research – faith in our future – faith in God.   We were armed.  We could do this!

Adventure is always unscripted.  No rehearsals, no makeup touch ups.  Just a douse of reality in the family adventure thing. We tell our story as authentically as possible.  Real life is always completely out of order, messy, fragmented, surprising, disappointing and encouraging.  To help each other, we must all be transparent.

After a full year of editing and sequencing our story, we have a television show which meets every requirement we have:  Transparent recovery.  We hope to raise the expectations of others who have suffered, to lift the expectations of other burn victims and their families so they could live again.  While traveling, we brought joy and love to others, and accepted the joy and love they gave to us.  And we did it as a family, then and from this day forward.

When you go on an adventure, take a camera.  But make sure you make your lives as transparent as possible.  No one can tolerate phony stories which are built out as authentic.  Fact is . . . they can see right through them.

Talk soon!

Dawn

If you want to travel easy, don’t choose Adventure With Engagement.  No AWE for you.  You choose AIL Adventure In Leisure,  which is a total contradiction to Adventure With Engagement.  Too much leisure will make you sick, fat and lazy.   And AIL does not usually include kids.  It’s an adult-only luxury hotel, spa or cruise ship experience, but not the stuff you use to make family memories.  Not lasting ones, anyway.

True adventure takes some thought and preparation.  It is never rigid or buttoned-up, and almost always has an element of risk.

Don’t go with your gut, which tells you herding your family through Beijing sounds exhausting.  If you leave the kids behind, every day at least once you will say “Oh, I wish so-and-so could have seen that!”   Before you know it, your kids are grown.  You will either have carved out memories or regrets.

Kids slow you down.  That’s a good thing on a World adventure because otherwise you tend to speed up to include everything.  Sure,  you may not walk the entire Great Wall of China, but why would you want to?   Take time for snacks and bio breaks.  Stop and smell the Peking Duck!    Resist the list and the urge to answer questions at cocktail parties by playing the  “did you see game?”  This trip never was about crossing destinations off your list.   Life should always be about  experiencing Adventure With Engagement.  And you can do that by using each other’s eyes.

Kids make friends with everyone.      Tyler, Trenton and Colton rarely let shyness stand in their way.  They spoke the languages understood in every country:  Smiles and Soccer.    And through our children, we met some wonderful loving people that we may not have otherwise met.    Which begs the question:  Why don’t they send children to the international diplomatic tables?  Let ‘em bring a ball.

Talk to you again Friday.  And thanks so much for reading my blog.  I hope it inspires you to find your own Adventure With Engagement!

Dawn

When you think of bonding with your family, does it put a knot in your gut? Your husband (or wife) will always be busy. The kids can think of about 250 better things to do than to hang out with their brothers or sisters. If you announce your ‘family time’ plan before you have a plan, you are in for some attitude.

You want an Adventure With Engagement. But what is your plan?

When we announced our plans for a seven-month trip, the boys probably first thought we had lost our minds. Then of course, came denial. During the planning process, they began to show more interest. Of course, it was an ebb and flow, one day studying the countries we would visit with enthusiasm, the next, being hit with reality; they would be away from their friends and comfort blanket of electronics for a good seven months. And we got a lot of attitude.

You don’t have to jump right into a world trip, like we did, but unless you take a step toward AWE, you will stay stuck no matter where you go, no matter how long you are gone. There are so many things to do that will drum up AWE in your family:

-At the beach, (or near a stream, lake or river) rent a salt-water metal detector and at low tide push your way onto the shoreline. There is nothing quite as exciting as hearing the sound the detector makes when you find a treasure. No matter how small, it is an adventure you will never forget.

-After a day of treasure hunting, take your family to the beach Souvenir Shops and plunk down a few bucks on some oversized conch shells and other larger shells. I know – it’s not something I would regularly do either. But I know a lady who wakes up before daybreak and “seeds the beach” with these shells.   She gets her cup of coffee and her lounge chair and sits back to watch complete strangers find treasures.

AWE. Adventure with Engagement. Make it part of your family life.

It is where you will find real Hidden Treasure.