Author: dawnhirn

Dear Dawn · Encouragement · Family

Body language

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Dear Dawn,

I’ve heard you say your legs were badly burned in the horrible automobile fire, and even after skin grafting you are terribly scarred.  That had to be a blow to someone who was a model.  Any tips for someone who is going through a difficult transition – from model to real life?

Dear Real Life, (Real life: nothing is better; nothing is worse.)  My legs do look rather, shall we say, “quilted” and because they no longer sweat(no oil glands),  it’s difficult for one who loves playing sports as much as I.  But I never try to cover up my scars. When I look at my legs now, I am reminded of my sweet Ryan who lost his life the day I got these scars. And then they take on a different significance.

When it comes to despair, I work backward from death.

American’s are obsessed by perfect body images because we compare ourselves to the airbrushed magazine cover images of women. Have we bought the Stepford lie?

I gained a bit more perspective from meeting the people in the world, who are far more fixated on their happiness than how they are being viewed.  We met the Fues family  in Germany, and in a very short time,  this family, who loves God, country and family just as we do, adopted us!  The admiration was mutual.

Fues familyCarl and Bruni Fues instilled the importance of hard work, integrity and strong moral values in their children.  They invited us to stay with them, fed us and treated us like old friends.  Like many Europeans, they had a sauna which they used daily regardless of the weather.  This dignified family that wouldn’t have dared call someone they had just met by their first name, invited Dr. and Mrs. Hirn into the sauna.  Ron and I entered the sauna to find this entire family in the buff.  Bare. Naked!  Ron and I, in our swimsuits, cover-ups and towels were ‘overdressed’ to say the least.

So many wonderful experience were crammed into those travel days.  When it comes to choosing perfection over the imperfection of real life – authentic life experiences win every time!

Dawn

PS – Oh, did I mention when the Fues family left the sauna they jumped into the cold pool and then into the snow to make snow angels?   Ron and I DID NOT join them in that adventure!

tin man

And remember, when the Tin Man went to see the Wizard he asked for the thing that really mattered most to him:   not new legs,  a heart!

Encouragement · Travel

Perception

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Perception is:  “the ability to see, hear, or become aware of something through the senses.”   Question is, can you trust your senses?  Never 100%!

Of course there is the obvious:  smell what appears to be garbage, and most likely there will be a reason for the odor.   Taste what appear to be off and it might be!  We’ve got a new heads up these days by food packaging  ‘sell-by dates’.

Years ago when I was an international model, (an exotic sounding vocation involving long trips, unsteady pay and daily starvation) I received an assignment requiring me to live in Germany.  And I was nervous at best and anxious at worst. My perception? Holocaust, hate, genocide, extermination . . . . and I was on my own!

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Germany.  Land of the Nazi’s, who rounded up people based upon their heritage and faith, ran them through concentration camps, furnaces and physical and mental torture.  Eleven million people — wiped out.  What kind of monsters treat each other with such cruelty?  And I never came up with a reasonable answer.  Never will.

Determined to be courageous,  I marched into my next modeling assignment to face-off with these German devils.  But, as I met individuals, I found that these people who also had horrible recollections of Nazi abuse, were my new friends. They had been raised much like I, with strong house rules, secure in the fact that hard work pays off and laziness causes poverty.  I saw the hearts of these people one at a time – which is the best way to discover anyone’s true character.  And I met some of the most genuinely kind caring people in the world.

Years later when I took the ones I love most with me back to Germany,   I had drummed up enough enthusiasm to fill my family’s hearts with a great desire to see this country and meet more new friends. red and yellowRed and yellow, black and white, they are precious in His sight, Jesus loves the little children of the world.

Don’t ever let your perception block you from a visit to a country marked “Safe” by the US State Department.   And look at her people and her children,  one heart at a time.P1530279

Dawn

PS – Please follow us on Facebook and my blog for more on Germany this month!

Dear Dawn · Grief

Casting . . . .

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Dear Dawn,

Three years ago, my husband and I also lost a child.  Those who try to comfort us always say “Time heals all wounds.”  But we are far from healed.  How long did it take you and Ron to get past the pain?    Still Waiting.

Dear Waiting,   I wish I could give you the magic hour that things will get better; but, there is no such thing as permanent healing from a loss of this dimension.

Once I had gotten past my anger with God for having taken my son away, I began gravitating toward Bible verses to lift me up.  But each reference was a temporary fix.  Then somebody mentioned the verse in 1 Peter 5: “Cast all your cares upon Him for He cares for you.”  I looked it up in the King James, and here is what it really says:

“Humble yourselves therefore under the mighty hand of God that He may exalt you in due time.  Casting all your cares upon Him, for He cares for you.”  1 Peter 5:6-7 

Wow. Casting is ongoing!   It was my job to continuously drop my load on God.  I could see from that verse my anguish would last a long time.  But more than that, I realized that my role in the whole thing was to never quit casting my cares upon God. 

So many people have said encouraging things to us, and Ron and I have each read so many books.  I just finished one of the best: A Grief Unveiled, by Gregory Floyd.  I urge you to order this book which has touched me so deeply.  From this I have learned:

-We will not diminish our son, Ryan,  by living our lives.  Neither will you.  We will honor our children,  our angels, by going on with as much joy as they gave us.

-Nobody can remove you from the pain of devastation,  but you.  It’s an ongoing process. You will have good days, bad days and great days. Keep casting.

-It is also our job to honor our children by remembering them to their brothers or sisters, and to each one who loved our child.  Encourage them to fill their life with joy and hope, using the gifts God has given them.

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Kremlin/St. Basil’s Moscow, Russia

Keep living, keep loving, keep the memories of your child’s precious life alive.

And never quit casting!

Dawn

Travel

Bigger . . .

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For 25 years we lived in Texas.  Our four boys were born there.  We spoke “Tex/Mex,” attended our share of Chili Cookoffs, and were well acquainted with the fact that “Everything is bigger in Texas!”   At least, that’s what they say.  And when it comes to boys, no matter what age, bigger is better.Colton Nutella True, the geographical size of Texas is massive.  You can check it out on MAPfrappe.com, which allows you to place her borders over any other geographic location in the world.  But unless you get up close and personal and compare one thing with another, it is difficult to determine size.

When we traveled to South Africa, we put ourselves and our size of importance where we belonged on the food chain.  It’s called respect.  From that vantage, things look different. I’m not saying “I caught a fish THIS BIG!”   But I am saying you will never understand the full meaning of the word ‘mammoth’ or ‘massive,’ until you compare yourself up close to one of the giant grassland occupants.  And where size is not of value, strength, speed and quality canine teeth are!

We didn’t wander through the jungle or swing from vines.  Oh, I suppose we could have but then we’re back to the food chain thing.  But our fear factor wasn’t reduced because there was a thin car window between approaching wild elephants, rhinos, and water buffalo.  Our senses were stimulated by the reverberating stomps of their feet on the ground. The sounds of their voices, filled the air.  We felt the vibrations of their muscular power as they interacted with other animals.  And just a whiff was all we needed to understand, we were in the jungle!trunk BP 2

When you travel you experience more than a hi-def, two dimensional close up;  Being on a savanna gives you a new perspective on your size, strength and power.

Brings to mind those Bible verses in Psalm 8:4-6 “What is man that Thou art mindful of him? . . . . .for Thou has made him a little lower than the angels and has crowned him with glory and honor.”  

Says nothing about size, speed, strength or teeth.  For that you need to visit South Africa.  Add that trip to your bucket list!  And don’t wait too long!   Travel is a life-changer!

Dawn

Dear Dawn · Encouragement · Grief

What now?

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Dear Dawn,

The unthinkable has happened in our family and I am questioning everything I am doing.  I find myself waking to another dreaded day thinking “What now?” How did you do it?  Just a note and a prayer, please.

Dear What now, There is nothing I can say to you that will fix things.  Just knowing there are people who love and support you is not ever enough. But don’t overlook the importance of their prayers and concern.

Ron and I still struggle with the loss of our seven-year-old son. Calendar days are often geared to him. . . today if he had lived, he would have been so old, he would have gone to his first prom, gotten that college acceptance letter, found his true love, etc.  That unavoidable agony is a process.

school ryan

Our life after Ryan was to hunker down in an environment that protected us and our surviving kids, one we controlled (during a loss, you feel utterly out-of-control) and manipulated ourselves with routine and predictability.

Life – such a precious gift — was slipping by so quickly.  Ron and I agreed to something drastic.  We hit the ‘reset button’ in the life of our family, and chose to radically embrace life by hitting the road to see the world.

It is an extreme choice, but it took us completely out of the rut of every day routine. When foreign traveling, you have to stop and think about every part of your daily life — where you eat, sleep, how you communicate, how to live within your budget, etc. By evaluating every part of your day, you reset your patterns.  Keeping Ryan close to our hearts by carrying his backpack, we began building new memories.

4 boys in shadow

My prayer for you is that you will be able to pull yourself up a day at a time.  When it comes time, hit the reset button.  Do it together!  Imperative!!

And let me know how you are doing.  Thanks for your letter.

Dawn

Family · Travel

They only come out at night . . . .

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They only come out at night . . . .   Sounds like a series of movies, or a dark novel, or fodder for a children’s fairy tale, or an Edgar Winters Band Album.  Question is:  who are they and what do they do?

Fear is an unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous.   Fear can flavor your decisions for the good and for the bad.  None of us should live in fear because we will miss some of the most spectacular adventures of all, but we should all have a healthy respect for certain situations.

When we visited South Africa, we knew it would be more dangerous than many other countries. Ron and I had remembered the apartheid stories of street violence and riots.  But that was twenty years ago.    Although in most places we were still in the minority, we weren’t unreasonably afraid.

We respected the country and took the necessary steps to be cautious, never wandering off too far, and never leaving our stuff sitting around. And we didn’t go out at night.  Because you know what they say:  They only come out at night!  We didn’t know what, but we weren’t taking any chances.  LOL

Truth is, few people wander out at night in South Africa, not merely because it is so wild or dangerous, but because streets and roadways are so poorly lit.  (We take streetlights for granted here in the USA).

Looking through our shots of South Africa by day, we found:

Whereas these are three of our favorite shots of South Africa by night:

blank photosNever let fear of the unknown stop you from going to one of the most beautiful places on earth.  Do your homework before you go.  And when it comes to South Africa, see it by day.  Make up your own scary stories at night!

Dawn

Dear Dawn · Travel

Look ahead

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Dear Dawn,  When it came time for Easter, Christmas and Thanksgiving, what did you do to celebrate?

We ‘looked ahead!’   Easter would be in Montenegro. We shopped ahead in Germany and Austria, knowing it would be hard to find ingredients for baskets for the boys.  And we wanted to bring our traditions with us wherever we went.  At that point we had rented a camper, so we were able to hide our stash.

There are traditions we hold dear.  But we were also excited to learn how others around the world celebrated – so many on Easter Monday.

In Poland, the Easter Tradition is just as whacky as our Bunny-egg-thing: Easter Monday boys carry around buckets of water and squirt guns to soak each other in a tradition called Smingus-Dyngus that goes back to Polish Prince Miesko 966 AD. Had something to do with Baptism, so the prince is probably flipping in his grave!

Easter Monday, the town of Haux, France serves a giant omelet to the town’s people.  We’re talking 4500 eggs — giant!    They say Napoleon once visited the town, liked their omelet offering so much, he ordered up a giant omelet for his army.   How they cooked the thing is another question for Google.

In a beach-side park near the place we were camping in Montenegro, we hid eggs, and on Easter morning Ron gathered the family to once again tell the story of Easter, from Jesus’ last supper, to the trial, death and resurrection.  The true meaning of Easter for us  – from the cross to the grave to the resurrection.

It is always important to look ahead!

Ron look ahead

Happy Easter

Dawn

Family · Travel

Beyond Beautiful

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His name was Basil.  Basil W. Hog.  He was born in South Africa and had a face only a mother could love.  A mother and Trenton.

Most of Africa’s wild animals don’t have cute catchy names.  Basil is officially referred to as something like a Pigmasorous Rex, I think.  Actually, I stand corrected:  his official name is Phacochoerus africanus, which is just as hard to pronounce.  So “Basil” it is.

trent warthogWe met Basil the Warthog when we were on safari in a South African wild reserve.  So often during our trip, we noticed Trenton was able to approach and get the attention of a lot of different animals.  In this case, it was good.  Other cases, not so much.

Once Trenton established the fact that he thought Basil had a nice personality, he moved right in despite the warthog’s alarming-looking under-bite and tusks.  Beyond beautiful!  Warthogs don’t usually attack humans, but we reminded the boys to always be respectful of the fact that these are wild animals.  Our guide was a great help in telling us what to do.

The Hirn family has always made new friends easily.   When it comes to facing situations that are out of the ordinary, Ron and I have always hoped our boys would be discerning, yet judgement-free, accepting of the differences of others.  From their experiences with the severely scarred Burn Camp kids, our boys know looks are a small part of what makes up a person.  In South Africa’s playground, our circle of interest got even bigger.

From Asia to Africa and beyond, we looked for beauty in the unusual.   To the warthog, aardvark and hyena, we give you tribute!

You’re beyond beautiful!1-warthog-gc590aBasil’s cousin Beau — the photogenic one in the family!

Dawn

Dear Dawn · Travel

Safari? Are you kidding?

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Dear Dawn, I don’t want to offend you, but how could you have allowed your young kids to go on a Safari in Africa?  Just the thought of it freaks me out!  Was it some sort of kid-safe safari or did you do the camp-on-the-savanna thing?

Dear Freaked-out, thank you for your candor. Ron and I did a lot of research before we chose the right family safari.  We wanted the genuine experience but Colton, our eight-year-old, had a tendency to wander off so child-safety was a huge factor. We didn’t want to dummy the wild experience down to an amusement park where large men dress up in Wildebeest costumes either.

Cheetah and boyswarthogWith every adventure comes risk.   Often, I wrestle trying to be the best mom I can be while making sure other parents think I am.   And that just doesn’t work.  You have to be true to who you are while giving your child life’s best experiences.  Ron and I had always loved traveling and wanted our sons to find the joy we had found meeting people from other countries, living life as they did, and surrounding ourselves by strange and new experiences.

You cannot imagine the thrill of seeing a herd of gazelles charging across a field, spotting a rare black rhino in a group of white rhinos, the overwhelming feeling of knowing there is a majestic lioness prancing around your car, or feeling the ground shake beneath you at the approach of wild elephants.

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We found the perfect family-friendly safari in a private reserve.  Thousands of acres of natural land filled with thousands of wild things, including the Big Five.  Those who own these huge reserves are diligent to make certain these animals are cared for and well fed.   We stayed within the compound, cooked our own food, and twice each day they drove us out to see what the savanna had to offer.

No matter how hard we try to protect our children, they still can and do get hurt.  But don’t miss the experience of a lifetime because you are afraid to take steps out of the darkness into the light of God’s world.  You will return with enough great memories to see you through life – and your family’s stories grow better with each telling!

Dawn

Adventure with Engagement AWE · Travel

The Big Game

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No.  I’m not talking about NC’s win over Gonzaga in last night’s NCAA Championship, nor the Patriots’ Super Bowl Win, nor the Cubs’ World Series Win, nor Trenton’s latest achievement on the Soccer field.

I’m talking about South Africa’s win as one of the safest countries to spot The Big Five Big Game!  You know: African Lion, African Elephant, Cape Buffalo, African Leopard, and Rhinoceros  (oh my)!

These guys made the list as “the most dangerous and difficult to hunt.”  Out of the top five, we saw four!  What a tremendous experience!

Safari Guides are the way to go, because they know things!    African bush elephants are able to hide in tall grass despite their size, and black and white Rhinos are on the endangered species list, so they are also difficult to spot.  And you may have to wait around all day to spot the African Lion.   It’s never smart to head off in your own direction or you may find yourself in a mess.  Cheetahs and Leopards look  similar.  But Cheetah’s have spots and Leopards have rosettes, and by the time you get close enough to determine which is which, you may find a sudden end to your safari.  And life!   Best to trust your guide on this one because up close and personal is not where you want to determine spot-shape!  Of all these dangerous animals, the Cape Buffalo is responsible for most big game hunters’ deaths.  Wounded or not – they attack often by ambush.

We weren’t able to see the Leopard, but four out of five isn’t bad.    And we felt our experience with Cheetahs out-shined a single glimpse of a Leopard.

Cheetah and boysYou can sit back in your comfy chair at home,  tune into the Animal Planet, Nat Geo or the Smithsonian Channel and share the photographer’s experience in viewing.  But we think you should head for South Africa and tell your own story.  Memories get better every year!

Dawn