Besides offering a funny face when I was so grief-stricken, my 2-year-old son, Tyler, gave me another gift that turned out to be the Best Gift I’ve ever received in my life.
And he gave it to me every morning of every month after “the accident.” (That’s my baby boy!)
What he gave me was a new way of looking at myself and life. He saw beyond my pain. He saw beneath my scars. He saw the heart of a mother in the chest of someone who didn’t deserve to be called a mother anymore. For him, nothing had changed. Nothing. Because every time he pushed my door open, he saw the one thing he needed most; his mommy. He saw me as a fountain–everything he needed.
I saw my failure at the ‘scene,’ he didn’t. I was more than the scars that came from the scene, he taught me that, and he hardly knew how to talk. He knew me ‘by heart’ not words. I was his mother, not the ‘scarred’ mother, but the mother who knew exactly what he needed, and when.
He showed me that I still had the Goods. He never bailed on me once while I was bailing on me every day.
How can a 2-year-old do that?
I think about the Little Prince and what he said, “ It is only with the heart that one can see rightly. What is essential is invisible to the eye.”
Tyler saw me rightly and I became his vision of me.
He took me by the hand into the kitchen for breakfast.
He led me to the window to show me, in a loving way, that Life goes on.
It didn’t matter to him if I was ready to see it or not; it’s what he saw in me. It’s the Best Gift anyone has ever given me.
#myscars, #ryanshines, #motherhood