Encouragement · Faith · Hope

A love that overcomes punishment

To set the record straight, I don’t think that “punishment” is God’s M.O.

spanking

God’s great Heart overflows with love.

That has been believed again and again through the centuries.

After the accident, it got so frickin’ hard for me to steer clear of fear of the Wrath of God.

Like I needed to carry around a lightning rod.

It’s easy to think that when we do something wrong God is eager to punish us.

Why would we think that?

Because we think God is like us, and we are a sad girlpunishing people!

Despite my battle scars, I have realized that God was not punishing Ron and me for something we’d done that caused Ryan’s death.

Original Love
Original Love

Underneath every tragic thing is “Original Love.”

Dawn    

To be continued…

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Faith · Family travel · Hope

My questions / Hopes’ answers

I’ve told you some of my deepest questions. Now I want to show you some of Hope’s answers:???

– I no longer believe that God is punishing Ron and me for Ryan’s death.

I no longer believe that God arranged our accident or any accident. God is LOVE.

–I believe that life is not selective. All people, whatever their color, creed, or cash are not singled out for disaster.

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Trenton and Colton in Jaipur, India

-I believe that death is basically random and we are simply caught in the crossfire.

These are my blessings, and sometimes my curse.

Dawn   

I want us to unpack each of these gifts in the next few weeks.  

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Encouragement · Hope

The anonymous injustice of life

I’ve always felt that life was unfair.

unfair

A blind man could see that.

Then came the accident and Ryan’s violent death, which proved, beyond a reasonable doubt that I was right: life is unfair.

Do you think life singles us out?

Or, that life is fundamentally against us?  

If that’s true, how can we ever Hope?

For years, I was paralyzed by the anonymous injustice of life.

I mean, is there anybody in charge out there?

I felt all helpless because I’d woken up so many times, only to realize there is no magic wand that fixes everything.wand

The magic was gone.

So, since life is unfair, what do we do?

We Hope again.

IMG_2019 2
Hoping. Again.

We have to.

It’s in our DNA.

Living without Hope takes away the now-ness of life, and wipes out the future.

But Hope, that beautiful four-letter word, restores our Faith.

I’m living proof!

dawn

Family · Hope

A total eclipse of me

As far as I know, I’ve never really been afraid of the dark.Screen Shot 2019-04-10 at 9.08.27 PM

That’s because I was born without the experience of Fear.

I outranked Fear.

When there would be a noise in the kitchen, my brothers and sisters would hide under the covers, while I would go downstairs alone to investigate.

Then, Ryan died, and Fear barged into my world.

It was like I was stuck inside a total eclipse of me.

I couldn’t see me.

I couldn’t feel me.

It was like when ‘’the lights went out on Broadway.’’bulb

And, I was lights-out in my heart.

I’d think the best thing I could do for everybody concerned was to swallow a bottle of pills and die.

Then, the sun would come up and my little Tyler would touch my arm.

IMG_4708
me and tyler

And I would know, “I’m still here!”

dawn

 

Family · Friendship · Relationship

Com-PAN-ioning

“The word is ‘’pan.’’

It means ‘’bread’’ in most every language.

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Trenton & Colton w/ Singapore friends

It suggests that ‘’breaking bread” together is at the heart of our companioning with God, family, and friends.

This is the center of our journey together that we’ve talked so much about.

There is an episode in the Book of Revelation where Jesus says, “I am knocking at your door. If you will answer and let me come in, we will eat together” (Rev. 3:20).  

What if Jesus is saying that eating together is a key to building relationships?

That he would choose food that we are homesick for?  A table is heavy with good grub. Think back for a moment over all the great meals you’ve shared. 

Did you ever feel that the one sitting across from you is the richest choice on the menu?

bread companioning.jpgIt suggests that ‘’breaking bread” together is at the heart of our companioning with God, family, and friends.

This is a part of our journey together that we’ve talked so much about.

There is an episode in the Book of Revelation where Jesus says, “I am knocking at your door. If you will answer and let me come in, we will eat together” (Rev. 3:20).  

Jesus might be saying that eating together is key to building relationships. Think back for a moment over all the great meals you’ve shared. 

Did you ever feel that the one sitting across from you was the richest choice on the menu?Screen Shot 2019-02-20 at 3.39.44 PM.png

dawn

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Faith · Family travel · Hope · Relationship

My heart / God’s home

Pre-accident, I only knew God from a distance, more like a ‘sky-God.’

Many of us were taught how to pray to the ‘sky-God’ in heaven. woman & cross keem-ibarra-560576-unsplash

After the accident, I found God, or God found me, and I learned that prayer is conversational.

God had come to live in my heart, not in the sky.

As my Faith grew, I began to grow too.

I was given Wisdom, a spoonful at a time.

For instance, I realized that Ryan was a Gift given to me, not a Gift taken away. 

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Ryan ’94

From the beginning, I felt honored that God entrusted Ryan to me, but more than that, God entrusted himself to me in an intimate ‘horizontal’ relationship.

dawn

Feel free to comment or add your story.

 

Faith · Hope · wounded Mother

When Faith comes to town

One of 2 things happen when we decide to trust God:ff at 9:11.jpeg

  1. It can blow our private world view apart, shaking the foundations of the world we live in and the world that lives in us.                                                                            Sometimes it shoves us down under the rubble at our private ground zero, searching for any signs of life there.

Or,

      2. Faith can gather together all our loose ends.

Funny how Faith is like Crazy Glue.

It holds everything together.

I know it seems like the coming of God into our lives would be a peaceful, easy thing.

But consider what Faith has blown apart in our lives. IMG_5046

For me, it was the old world I’d been living in. It was the world that was not working in my present life.Screen Shot 2019-02-20 at 3.35.33 PM

My adolescent Faith with an adolescent God was not working anymore.

Faith blew it apart and made a space for Grace.

Grace in the shape of an Accident.

dawn

 

 

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