Encouragement · Grief · Hope · wounded healer

Becoming a Blessings-girl

We finished talking about “Hope’s” answers to my deepest questions.

I hope you have learned as much as the boys and I have.  

road school
Colton & Trenton studying in the shadow of the Taj Mahal

Today our focus is about living in Blessings instead of crumbling under a Curse.

I usually think that it’s one or the other.

If you feel cursed, we tend to believe that it is the only reality within us.

Original Love

Like if you are angry, anger is the only reality in your life.

But you are MORE than your anger!  

I am MORE than my grief.

Getting through my own loss took more than a decade.

But I’ve changed. (It’s never too late).

present

I am a Blessings–Girl now.

Dawn                  

To be continued…

 

Faith · Hope · wounded healer · wounded Mother

The first heart to break

I believe that life is not selective and that all people, no matter who and where they are, are not singled out for disaster.hurricane

Think about Katrina in Louisiana or 9/11 in New York.

Are they SERIOUS when they call those disasters ‘‘acts of God’’?

When a disaster is so beyond explanation, ”It must be God-at-work.”

9:11

Think about it, we look at the destructive power of Nature, and we see that it’s out of control.

So we blame it on god. Even the insurance guys peddle protection against “acts of God.”

Do you really believe God singled out New Orleans and Manhattan?

Let me ask you a personal question.

Be honest.

Do you believe that God did and does all that chaos and damage, not to mention the killing?

IMG_5046
Ryan’s roadside cross in Texas 

I said it last week and I’m saying it again.

God’s is the first heart to break.

God’s is the first tear to fall.

dawn

 

Faith · Family travel · Hope · Relationship

My heart / God’s home

Pre-accident, I only knew God from a distance, more like a ‘sky-God.’

Many of us were taught how to pray to the ‘sky-God’ in heaven. woman & cross keem-ibarra-560576-unsplash

After the accident, I found God, or God found me, and I learned that prayer is conversational.

God had come to live in my heart, not in the sky.

As my Faith grew, I began to grow too.

I was given Wisdom, a spoonful at a time.

For instance, I realized that Ryan was a Gift given to me, not a Gift taken away. 

img_3740.jpg
Ryan ’94

From the beginning, I felt honored that God entrusted Ryan to me, but more than that, God entrusted himself to me in an intimate ‘horizontal’ relationship.

dawn

Feel free to comment or add your story.

 

Encouragement · Grief · Hope · wounded healer

Winter to Spring

It looks like I’m pondering in this pic. fullsizeoutput_457f.jpeg 

And I guess I am.

I’m pondering the weather.

When everything turns cold and bare, some of us tend to believe that it’s winter in our souls too.

It’s a kind of winter that seems like it will never end.

All the leaves on our Tree of Hope are gone, and we feel barren.

I have to admit that when Ryan was killed in the fire, it took years before there was anything green growing on my bare branches.

It’s when you think you have only one season in your life–winter.

And you get to where you stop expecting springtime and stay under the covers to sleep it off.

Maybe you’ve heard the voices in your head that keep saying, “Don’t get up, don’t get up!”

Can you identify?download

Or, is it like you have only one word in your vocabulary;  “Unfair!”

And it repeats like an echo.

Girl, I do understand the unfairness of life, and feeling like you’ve been robbed of your future.

You might be close to giving in or giving up.

That’s the bad news, but here’s the good news…Spring always follows Winter.

It’s as perennial as perennials.

And Spring is best spent with somebody you love. (“I” to “We”)

fullsizeoutput_3d7f
Tyler(3)

Dawn

 

These are my thoughts today. Please join my daily Instagram @dawnraymondhirn

 

Encouragement · Faith · Hope · wounded healer

Scars On Jesus’ Hands

 

A major turning point for me came when I tied together the way Tyler held out his hands to me and the way Jesus held out his hands to his friends.

Focus on those hands for a minute.  See the holes in his hands and remember the giant hole in his side from a well-aimed Roman spear? There’s nothing he could do to make the scars go away because, just like ours, his scars are permanent.

Think about the way he honored his scars.

I’m thinking about “Doubting Thomas.” He told them that he would not believe unless he saw and touched the scars. Because somehow Jesus’ scars are at the Center of his life story.

images-3

And my scars are the Center of my life story and I can’t get away from them.  I don’t need to tell you that people do not want to look at our scars. And they even encourage us sometimes to hide them, as if Jesus wore gloves for the rest of his natural life.

Jesus had scars like ours: Physical scars. Emotional scars. Mental scars. His scars were the proof of his single-minded Love for the whole world.fullsizeoutput_3dc4

Our minds don’t tell us the truth always.

 

But our scars always do.

They tell us what is most perfect about our body and soul.

There is a story behind every scar that we carry. 

Listen to your scars.

 

dawn

Share this freely.

#myscars #ryanshines

Family · Grief · wounded Mother

The worst day of my life! (part 1)

Our SUV is rolling over and over and flames are beginning to eat through my passenger seat, searing my hamstrings. The final rollover lands us on my side. My door won’t open. Everything I touch is glass, gravel, and weeds on the shoulder of Highway 83.

car on fire andres-gerlotti-559487-unsplash

The fire ignited under me and is crawling toward my 7-year-old, Ryan, sitting behind me in the backseat.

Our happy family of four are trapped like POW’s. I can smell the skin on my legs burning. Then, I am numb. No, more like frozen. Gradually, my brain begins to thaw.

I open my eyes and every one of us is on fire!

My baby, Tyler, is!

My seven-year-old, Ryan, is!

My husband, Ron, is!

woman & cross keem-ibarra-560576-unsplash.jpg

And it feels like we’re all melting. Both children are trapped in their car seats. Can a person be on fire and frozen at the same time?

This is only the beginning of the worst days and years of my life.

dawn

(See you Thursday for part 2)