Adventure with Engagement AWE · Encouragement · Parenting

Bonding

dawnhirn1 Comment

I’ve often wondered why people spend such big bucks on weddings.

Is it all for the bride and if so, does anybody think how the money could help the couple get started? Somebody told me the wedding ceremony and celebration have to do with remembering your life “from this point forward.”

The path usually begins as a couple finds their niche whether travel or staying home, furthering their education or their industry. Add a house and kids to the pot and the dynamic changes. Hopefully, not profoundly.

A crisis comes into each life and marriage sooner or later. But you go back to the “point” where things weren’t so terrible. The tragedy of losing our child, Ryan, ended our fairy tale. This became our “from this point forward.”

In agony, we hovered over what remained.  But the steps in this direction were foreign to Ron and I who had loved the adventure of travel. Do you treasure the moments you spend with your family – your husband or wife, each child; is it a step in the right direction?

It’s all about ‘bonding’ and bonding cannot be accomplished unless the things to be bonded get close enough to each other for the cement to hold.   Kids aren’t gonna love you more because you buy them stuff.

And life only gets temporarily easier when they are off doing their own thing. No family memories built in that room.

When you choose to take a step into the unknown together, you’re making new memories.   You owe it to yourselves, your children and your marriage. Sure, the money you will spend could get you another home, a bigger and a better location, more furniture, clothes,  cars, and more ‘stuff’ for your kids. But in the long run, will any of that actually serve as a bond between you, your mate or your children?

Choose: AWE   Adventure with Engagement!

Next Tuesday, lets discuss “Starting Small.”

Adventure with Engagement AWE · Encouragement · Grief

AWE

dawnhirnLeave a comment

Let me back up a bit. We took a 180-day trip with our family traveling around the world, on the skinny, putting us together in some uncomfortable situations. The good far outweighed the bad.   I’m blogging about what we did and where we went and how we did it.   But many of you are wondering ‘why we did it.’

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When we lost Ryan, in the fire that severely burned my husband, younger son and me, our family broke apart. Burn recovery is lengthy and painful. But the greatest pain came remembering Ryan, in waves of terror interrupting sleep and even fearing a simple car ride. We were thankful when God gave us two more sons, but one child never replaces another. And we had not healed.

Ryan
Trenton & Colton

We handled our grief differently: Ron internalized and I took out my frustration with physical activities. We had a marriage to hold together, three sons to raise, and none of it was going well. We isolated ourselves and homeschooled our kids, mistakenly thinking we could control the situation better. We couldn’t.

When one son asked: “why can’t we live normal lives?” I asked Ron “What does ‘normal’ look like?”   From that point, we backtracked:

 

 

 

Who had we been before the accident?

How did we live? We chose Adventure with Engagement –AWE.  Ron and I took Ryan and Tyler with us wherever we could, often resulting in discomfort and inconvenience, but we thrived on solving problems together. It’s how we grew as a couple and as a family.

Were we just stupid or naïve? Both. But it worked for us.

What had changed? We lived in fear of losing another child, afraid to take chances or allow our boys to experience risk.  We all needed to go back to those days, and grab a piece of what we had given up. It was time for a grand adventure with our sons – the treasure God had given us that we had been afraid to invest.

China Suzhou?

We prepared. Together. We studied the places we’d visit. Together.  We planned. Together. We discussed how we would do it. Together. We chose the hard way. Together.  And we are still together with wonderful memories!

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“A ship is always safe at the shore – but that is NOT what it is built for.”   ― Albert Einstein

Blessed weekend!

dawn

education · Encouragement · Travel

Still can’t speak the language!

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And the old joke still circulates:

A person who speaks three languages is tri-lingual.

A person who speaks two languages is bi-lingual.

A person who speaks one language is American.

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Before we left for our World adventure, we required everybody to learn at least five words/phrases-“thank you,” “your welcome,” “please,” “excuse me,” and “hello”-in the language of each of the countries we were going to visit.   Saying “hello” in that language doesn’t cover it when you need to find a restroom. And crossing your legs and jumping around doesn’t always translate. Kids always level the playing field with their complete candor.

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Here are some communication tips when you don’t know the language:

  1. Use your hands. Pantomime to your heart’s content.
  2. Use your smile. They know you’re a foreigner. Smiles are a great ice-breaker.
  3. Memorize just a few phrases. Put the words to music and it becomes a lot easier!   Wǒ xiǎng xiān qù cèsuǒ  “Where is the bathroom?” in Chinese. Sing it to: ‘I heard it through the grapevine.”
  4. Use your phone apps. Google Translate or iTranslate is good. Waygo is great studying Chinese, Japanese and Korean. You can actually take a photo of what you don’t understand and say “Aha.” (BTW, the word  “Aha” is pretty much the same in every language!)
  5. Take chances. Don’t worry about proper pronunciation. People are kind – they will want to help you and, of course, you open the door for them to practice their English on you.
  6. They’re not laughing at you; they’re smiling to encourage you (Paris, France may be an exception to this rule).
  7. Pay attention. Great communicators mirror their audiences.

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And remember- communication takes two people. Don’t be shy, find one.

dawn

Family · Travel

Can’t speak the language . . . .

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The greatest barrier to communication is our ‘fear of looking stupid.’   The Hirn Family had jumped that hurdle when we lived on the Texas border.  Every good doctor must first understand what his patient needs, and Ron was determined to offer the best to his Spanish-speaking patients by communicating with them in their native tongue. And, as social as I am, nothing was going to stand in the way of my getting to know people.   We all speak Spanish pretty well; problem was, we hadn’t chosen Spanish-speaking countries to visit!

American’s pride ourselves in the fact that English — the International Language — is understood almost everywhere in the world.  But unless we are forced into a situation, too few of us find it important to learn another language. Why not? Communication is a powerful tool.

Before you leave for your trip, pull up the website: Omniglot http://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/          Great tool for learning a few phrases!

People are generally quite forgiving, but occasionally a blunder causes a large problem:  In the 1960’s Pepsi took it’s “Come Alive with the Pepsi Generation” slogan to China, which was not well received. The Chinese translated the slogan to: “Pepsi brings your relatives back from the dead.”

Clairol attempted to sell a new curling iron in German markets, dubbing the product a “Mist Stick.” “Mist” in German means “manure.” Who wants a hot roll of manure in their hair? www.fluentin3months.com

If you’re selling a product, do your homework. Otherwise, get out there and practice.  The people we met loved helping us.

Check out my Blog Thursday for some great communication tips I brought back. We’ll have you ready to go in no time!

Talk to you Thursday!  Dawn

Family · Travel

World travel? Can’t afford it.

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“Face it. I can’t afford to take my family on a world adventure.”  (Nasty buzz sound).    Wrong answer.  Save your money.  Clip coupons.  Trim your lifestyle.  And when you hit your goal and people ask you “what are you going to do now?” ditch the “Disney World-response,  (no offense Walt) and buy yourself a ticket around the world.  About $6500 is what we spent. Each.

You’re on your own getting to Disney.   Walt will charge you $6480 at the Polynesian bungalow for 4 nights, 4 people.  We traveled the world for  180 days, but you won’t want to stay at Disney as long cause it’ll cost you $291,600.

Choose China.  We stayed 4 nights, six of us, for under  $200.  The hostels are fabulous. (The hostel we stayed in Xi’an was rated #1 in the world).

A Five-day pass to Disney is $393 adults and $372 children. Park food is pricey. All you can eat dumplings in China, cost $5 for six of us.  And ‘yes’ we did get tired of dumplings.  But rice, chicken, pork and vegetables are standard and reasonable.

In India, your kids, sisters, aunts and grandmas’ souvenirs could run you as much as 60 cents for a pair of sandals, sans the Disney mouse ear logo.   What I’m telling you is you can do this.  We did.  Stay with me here.  I’ll give you more tips Tuesday.

How much does it cost to go to Disney World? (including example trips)