Adapt means to modify, alter, adjust, readjust, remodel, reshape, and rework.   All things considered, our boys did beautifully.  Kids do.

Adapting is something American adults have a bit more trouble doing, being silver spoon-fed at all.  We are used to luxury or at least the best we can afford in our home- away-from-home. There are different levels of adapting:   we can all adapt to a guy in a Goofy costume coming up for a hug, but that isn’t a real acid test.

Our world-adventure stretched us to new levels of tolerance.  Of course, looking backward from the comfort of our own dining room table  makes every awkward situation seem funny.  Everyone has their own favorite “meltdown story,” and occasionally stories sound  vaguely similar.

There was a lot of room for complaining but we had made everyone aware of what to expect before we left.  And yet, we still had surprises.

Street Food  – Sometimes it looked sketchy, but of course we could easily turn the food-thing into a competition.  They guys each longed to win the game: ‘what-was-the-weirdest-thing-you-ever-ate?”    But street food didn’t make us sick.  In fact, there were only a total of four throw-ups for six people the whole six months.  And street food was a daily diet.  Hunger forced us all to adapt.

Electronic withdrawals – The boys used their smartphones for photography.   They knew there was no Facebook and limited social media in China.  They said they could hack it.   But you know how that goes — nobody ever sees how  truly addicted they are until they no longer have the ability to connect.  Took about two days;  and they adapted.

Entertainment – Boys make everything from handrails to luggage ramps to subway hand rings into a playground. And if you follow our Our Backpack Facebook page, you know the value of the ‘ball.’   As parents, if you focus upon how it is going to look to the locals, you are fighting a losing battle. And there was no ‘deep cover.’  We were an American family with  three boys,  in a country with a one-child rule.  And the Chinese have contempt for truant students.    Yet, we were overwhelmed by their kindness to us.

Time alone.   I think that was one of the most difficult struggles.  Ron and I knew when the other needed a break.  We were each other’s Plan B.

Again let me stress this was not a vacation.  But remember, the “A” in Adventure, is the same “A” in Achievement.    We brought home another “A” for accomplishment, which is impossible to do unless you . . .

Adapt.

Talk later…

Dawn

Nearly two-hundred years ago the German chemist Justus von Liebig slapped a thin coat of silver to one side of clear glass and Bingo!  The mirror!  He probably learned a thing or two from Euclid (300 BC) who dallied with the idea of reflection.  But nobody – NO-BODY has revealed more details than the twenty-first century videographer who follows you around day and night.

I did it to myself.  I hired a  kind of a self-imposed paparazzi. But how else could we document the world adventure my family and I had ‘bitten off’?   “I want real life – authentic experiences – authentic memories – the good, bad and ugly” I told him.  Real life performances don’t include ‘hair and makeup’, or filters or wardrobe adjustments.

We had lost one of our own.  Hovering over the children ‘left behind’ does not establish ownership, and almost always pushes them to perform.   We wanted ‘real time’ with our kids – time to watch them grow, to share with them the experience of discovering the world God had given them.

Real life is not buttoned-down, starched, stain-proofed and Photoshop-ed.

You may think you know your strengths and weaknesses until you see them played back on video:  and there I was – in all my impatience, trying to control everything and everyone, getting ‘freaked out’ far too often, wishing I could find a door to my own room to slam.   What a wake-up call.

When you’re put in a difficult situation you can either react or respond, I reacted by trying to duck the camera until I realized I should respond and adjust my behavior.  My family knows my weaknesses and my strengths. And I know theirs.  Forgiveness is the first step to recovery and a cornerstone of love.

Consider a 24/7 trip with your family. If you have the guts, hire a videographer to cover it.  Costs less than a Shrink. And the results are just as effective!

Talk soon!

Dawn

Before you take a trip, sharpen your powers of prediction:

1. When your kids are stuck in the back seat of a car for any length of time, you’ve got a problem. Boredom creates chaos on short trips.   So how can you tolerate a long, worldwide trip?

Prepare:  And may I add, prepare, prepare.  Do intensive map, cultural and historical studies about places you plan to visit.  We made the kids an important part of the discussion. Pre-departure, each child researched 12 countries(in 12 weeks) each and presented them ‘Toast Masters style’ in front of the family via a ‘speech’ or ‘power point.’ It was a great fun to hear and see what each child found interesting about that country and really hit home when we arrived at ‘their’ country.

En route, when the kids were tired of studying, Ron and I engaged them more.  There will be times when your kids are sick of looking at ‘another museum,’ ‘another temple,’ or ‘another dumpling.’  Arm yourself with ideas;  Trivia details and word games-our fav. is the Alphabet country or capital Game- are fun and interactive and keep their attention.  When we had no more to offer, we grabbed one of the books we brought in the Family pack.

2. Backpack contents swell during travel. No law of physics supports this; but it’s true, even if you don’t collect things! I don’t know how this happens but it’s like the socks-in-the-dryer thing:  Put two in only one comes out.

Prepare:    Plan what you are going to bring on your trip,  down to the number of socks.   Don’t stick with ‘pairs’.   Pack the ‘traveler’s pair’ – which is three.  At least you’ll have one foot clean at a time.

3. Pack your backpack a month before you travel, and try living out of it.  You will                  know what you need, what you don’t.  Pack and re-pack.

Prepare:    Leave non-survival stuff at home.  But never, ever forget the blanket.   The first gift you were given at birth was a blanket, and there was a reason.  It’s a great comfort, can become a changing room, a shade from the sun, a place to hide or fake-sleep when you want privacy.  It converts to a pillow, a warm wrap or a back support.

4. Set down “Do’s and Don’t’s,” but let them run ahead and play.

Prepare:    Bring a ball.

Powers of prediction.  You’ve got them.  Use them.

Talk Friday!  Dawn

Did you ever play the game where you sit with friends around the table, one person whispers a little story into someone’s ear and it is passed on and on until it returns to the original story teller?  Somehow, during the transfer, the story experiences a metamorphosis and is hardly recognizable when it returns.

In 1980,  Ted Turner pioneered 24-hour news broadcast, and for the good and bad of it, we are being served.   Since 9/11, we anxiously feed off the news provided to us  at ‘the speed of sound,’ but unless it’s breaking news, we are being fed the same stuff with different slants all day and all night.

When you first hear ‘the story’ you are set on edge.  But as the story goes around the table it is amplified, adjusted and augmented.

It’s hard not to project fear into your upcoming trip.  But no one should go blindly on a world adventure.  Do your homework. Before you set sail or spread your wings,  check with the US State Department for updated travel alerts: https://travel.state.gov/content/passports/en/alertswarnings.html

There are places you should not go.  Outside those places, your risk of dying from terrorism is one in 20 million, far exceeding your risk of being struck by lightning, which is one in 5.5 million.

Next week I’ll help you face a few more fears and give you the scoop on Ebola, the Zika Virus, concern over doctors and hospital care for your family, medicines,  fear of the food and the fear of ‘strangers.’

Like Franklin D. Roosevelt said: “The only thing to fear is fear itself.”      (March 4, 1933)