Family · Hope

A total eclipse of me

As far as I know, I’ve never really been afraid of the dark.Screen Shot 2019-04-10 at 9.08.27 PM

That’s because I was born without the experience of Fear.

I outranked Fear.

When there would be a noise in the kitchen, my brothers and sisters would hide under the covers, while I would go downstairs alone to investigate.

Then, Ryan died, and Fear barged into my world.

It was like I was stuck inside a total eclipse of me.

I couldn’t see me.

I couldn’t feel me.

It was like when ‘’the lights went out on Broadway.’’bulb

And, I was lights-out in my heart.

I’d think the best thing I could do for everybody concerned was to swallow a bottle of pills and die.

Then, the sun would come up and my little Tyler would touch my arm.

IMG_4708
me and tyler

And I would know, “I’m still here!”

dawn

 

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