Author: dawnhirn

Parenting · Perfecting Dysfunction

Camera

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One of the greatest reasons to travel with your kids is the time you get to spend knowing them.  One of the worst reasons to travel with your kids is the time you get to spend knowing them!   For the good and the bad of it, there is an adventure in finding out what is on your kid’s mind.  And one thing for sure:  teenagers rarely tell you what you don’t want to hear.

There is a subtle way around information gathering — and I’m not talking about dogging your teens on SnapChat, Instagram or Twitter.  Give them a camera. When we traveled the world, I created a ‘road’ school class of photo journaling. Each boy had to take some pictures every day, post their “favorite” to their Tumbler account each night, and write 3 full sentences or a paragraph describing the photo(age length). It was a challenge but worth while. Here’s what we discovered:

Tyler has a good eye for photography.  Even in dense smog he pulled out a great Taj Mahal photo. And he patiently waited for evening light to grab one more photo. (The key to being a good photographer is patience!)

Ty's mom 2Despite how my sign language, hugs, and rough attempt to speak to everyone seemed to drive my sons crazy, down deep they didn’t actually mind it at all.

Parenting lesson #1:  “Teach a good lesson even if you don’t talk.”  We all became better huggers after this world trip!  Take THAT to the diplomatic table!

Food prep in other countries will bring home a touch of reality to any American kitchen.  Trenton’s photos of this kitchen in India, spoke volumes about his heart. We hoped this photo would be a gentle reminder each time he or either of his brothers opened our refrigerator at home to say: “We have nothing to eat in this house!”

100_3418

This is a shot Colton took but that’s another…

upside downAnd finally one of my personal favorites which pretty much explained how each of us felt from time-to-time on our trip. Of course, you can pretty much correct anything in Photoshop if you know the problem.

And you can pretty much correct anything in the training ground of hands-on parenting,  if you are willing to see the problem!  If you don’t have a clue where to start, give your kid a camera!

You will discover a whole other side to your child’s vision of his world.

Dawn

Adventure with Engagement AWE · Travel

The Book of Magic

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We are still steeped in patriotism with the recent memories of our July 4th celebration on Lake Martin.  These memories are fresh for us – reminders that we are part of the Land of the Free and the Home of the Brave.  And we can carry that identity with us in the way of a passport nearly anywhere in the world.

I remember another time shortly after Ron and I were married.  We had begun saving our money almost immediately to travel through Europe.  We set out in a camper we bought in Germany and headed where the wind blew.  Borders back then were tightly monitored.  But we had nothing to fear.  We were young and in love and, if push came to shove, we could charm people into submission with our quick wit and smiles.  (Did I mention we were deluded into thinking love conquers all?)

Dawn Ron early yearsDR campsiteSetting up housekeeping in our used VW Camper.Mom in law visit“Hey “Ron, my mom’s coming for a visit!”

Life for us was smooth until we arrived at the border crossing of Bulgaria.   We thought we had properly followed the traffic directions following the circle-around thing.  But we ended up entering the wrong way and cutting in line.  This ticked off the Bulgarian Border Patrol, and one guard in particular, was suspicious of our German tag.  He approached the car ready for war.  Always playing ‘Miss Congeniality,’ I rolled down my window to give him my best smile and sweetest voice.   This has worked for me before in America.

In Bulgaria, not so much.

This guy went ballistic, and began screaming at me: “Turks!  Turks!”  And with one fell swoop, he reached through the window and knocked the sweet smile right off my face, breaking my glasses and bloodying my temple.

Dawn gloves showing determ

Most women would shed a tear at this point.  But never having been one to back off, I got angry, grabbed his tie and jerked it off him. Ron, unaware of all of this, drove around to the proper position. Within moments, the guards were running to us in our camper, demanding passports and a tie. The moment the passports were produced, the climate changed dramatically.

Attila the Bulgarian Hun was joined by the rest of the guard dripping apologies all over Ron and I. We’d never seen anything like it. “Americans, Americans,” they exclaimed. In no time, we were escorted to ‘the head of the line,’ offered more apologies, muttering that they thought we were Turks, and gently provided us with a bloodless escort across the border.

I’m an American!

I’ve really done nothing to deserve this privilege of carrying the book of magic — the American Passport.  And in addition, I am allowed to vote, own land,  travel freely and say what I think.   Punching isn’t included in my ‘inalienable rights.’

When you travel, you might want to reconsider getting into any fights with border guards.  They don’t like it much when you rip their clothes off.

But if you insist, flash them your Book of Magic first!

Dawn

PS – I apologized and returned Attila’s tie!

Adventure with Engagement AWE · Family

Youneverknowwhatyourgonnaget!

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Reeling from a week of company is like coming down from a mountaintop.

So many people squished together in one house, so many personalities, so many agendas.    When we stand back, things look like a mess.  But we know the ‘mess’ is held together by love and that changes the whole atmosphere.

Hirns 4thDo we all get along constantly?  I’m tempted to fill the rest of the blog with hahahahahahah.  But we respect each other and that covers a whole lot of ground.   God put me in the middle of five men, and I’ve got to say I’ve loved being there.

And this week, He has shared with me nieces and cousins, who have come to spend the week of July 4th, bringing with them splashes of drama and color!   I’m reaching way out from what I am used to dealing with men.

I’ve always said I wouldn’t know how to raise a little girl, and I still say “hats off to their mom’s and dads.”  And they probably say the same thing about me with boys!

nieces

But I’ve thoroughly enjoyed their magical approaches to life, the red, white and blue decor they added to our boats and our lives.  I’ve enjoyed watching the drama and the comedy, the rehearsed poses which have given me some outstanding photos of these little girls!   (Tell a boy to smile at the camera and you never know what you’re gonna get!)

butts

Step out of your comfort zone and make memories!  One of the most magnificent things about world travel is ‘youneverknowwhatyoutgonnaget.’  We left the ordinary ‘sameness’ in our lives to embrace people of different cultures, beliefs and lifestyles, in the name of brotherhood, respect and love.   And you cannot get the experience of building relationships from a book or a movie!

Dr. Seuss said it best:  “Be who you are and say how you feel, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.”

Dawn

Adventure with Engagement AWE · Encouragement · Travel

What’s your color scheme?

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Benjamin Moore (not a founding father) started up his paint company in 1883, dedicated to the production of excellence in paints and glazes.  Today, three of his colors still stand out: “Old Glory Red”, “Old Glory Blue” and White.  (Ok, so he wasn’t the most original dude on the block, but he was allegiant to his country!)  These colors hold significance to every American today. It’s our 241st Birthday, which makes us young by comparison to most other countries.  Red, white and blue is the color of our door marked freedom.  And, thanks to the freedom of speech,  we rejoice or complain our way through the door that allows us to choose the way we worship, and helps us along our educational path. Americans are used to working hard so we can own homes and land.   And we can choose to live safely within our own paint choices, or or we can travel, opening up every color imaginable on earth.

mosaic pigs Britainfrom blue mosaic pigs in Britain. . . .

We Hirns love America and take great pride in our Red, White and Blue.  But we have jumped and will continue to jump at the opportunity to uncover other color schemes.

Passenger trainto passenger trains in SE Asia. . . .

China man/American boys

and beyond!

Today we celebrate July 4th with hot dogs,  S’Mores, apple pie, campfires, parades, ballgames and fireworks.    We are so  thankful to America for opening her doors allowing us to see so many colors beyond our own color schemes  . . . .  .                 from Lake Martin into the wild blue yonder!

IMG_0803Have and happy, colorful and safe Independence Day!

Dawn

Family travel

Adapting.

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Answer:  The gift that keeps on giving.   Question:  What is ‘being able to adapt?’

If you are fluffy, you may not be a good candidate for World Travel. Traveling around the world is not soft.  But it builds character, and by that I mean, shaves the fringe off the fluff and gets down to the bare basics of understanding.  We who lead cushy lives,  will never understand how others in the world live unless we walk in their rice paddy.

If you cannot live without cell service, lipstick,  massages,  pedicures or two-ply toilet paper,  world travel may not be your thing.  But before you decide, ask yourself two questions:

  1. Is the life I carved out for myself significant?
  2. What kind of standard have I set for my kids?

You will get through life no matter what you choose.   But you only have one shot at it. Don’t let your days slip by without recording the exceptional moments outside lunch at the club or tennis matches.   The good stories usually come to us in the unexpected and unpredictable.

We found ourselves in Vietnam for Colton’s birthday and did our best to find him a birthday cake.  We explained to the restaurant staff, the ‘birthday cake concept’.  Big smiles from them told us they understood.  They didn’t.

Colton’s birthday dinner was certainly healthier than McDonald’s.

bday candles vietnamAnd then came the cake.

The kitchen staff is still scratching their heads as to why we would light the fruit and veggie plate on fire, blow it out and clap our hands.  Adapting is the courage to face the fact that your way may not necessarily be the best way.

colton bday vietnm

Adapting.  Once you are able to pass this course, you are able to experience real living, value each moment and each day and each birthday cake!

adapting

Dawn

PS.  And when we got to France, we hit the patisseries to re-celebrate Colton all over again!

 

Family travel

Giddyup

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Cowboys have a unique language all their own.  It’s a rootin-tootin’ sort of vernacular which still effectively applies today.  I was pretty much born in third gear, but some days I feel like there is a ‘hitch-in-my-get-along’ and I need a good ‘giddyup’ to get where I’m going.

But other days just ‘moseying from campfire to campfire’ is the best way for me to go.  When we traveled we agreed to take as many forms of transportation as were safely possible.  (Safety took on a whole new meaning in China and Vietnam, where maniacal driving is the norm.)

But once our leader Ron gave us the go-ahead, we did the ‘giddyup’ onto the bullet train, rafts on rivers, and assorted animal and human forms of travel assistance.Bicycle India

Camel India

elepant Thailand

Don’t let a hitch-in-yer-get-along mess up your travel plans.  Some of the best times we had weren’t reaching our destinations, but reaching for our destinations. Don’t worry so much about how you get there, just get there!

Giddyup!

Dawn

Family

The Wetting. I mean Wedding.

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The Wetting.  That’s what you get when you take two imperfect people, put them in the hottest, muggiest place in Georgia on a rainy day, pronounce them man and wife and send them outside into the rain.

Every young girl dreams of the day she will say I do.  Skies and birds —  both blue —  sunshine and light streaming over the couple.   Our wedding, which was to be a black/white-themed wedding, ended up being a bit more colorful.

Rehearsal dinner 2 pads

My dad’s business had just folded, and he only had $5000 left for his daughter’s big day. We began to improvise, doing the decorating and begging favors from friends who opened up their home to us for an outdoor reception.  Just before the ceremony, we blew up enough black and white balloons to flatten our lungs, and floated them on the pool.  It was impressive; but by the time we got to the reception from the church, all the balloons had popped or blown away.

June 22, 1990 was a hot and very humid day on St. Simons, Georgia, and rain wasn’t the only thing falling; my big hair was breaking the #1 rule of the 1990s by going flat, and my make-up was running in streaks down my face.    I understand what the Wicked Witch of the West in the Wizard of Oz meant when she said: “Oh, I’m melting . . . what a world, what a world!”   

No shoulder pads

Just before the ceremony began, I realized I had left my shoulder pads for my dress at home, breaking 1990 rule #2:  Never wear a 1990’s-style dress without shoulder pads!  The Raymond sisters panicked when they realized their sister,  the bride, was lopsided, and Darby ran home to retrieve the pads to hoist my dress to the proper level.

When we started twenty minutes late, the lightning and thunder had reached peak decibels. “Ron, do you take this woman to be your lawful wedded wife?” was followed by a huge crack of thunder which shook the church and everyone it it. But nobody ran.   And for that I am thankful.

Our life together has been far from perfect.   We’ve gained; we’ve lost.  And in keeping with our theme, there have been black times and white times; but for the most part the areas we have tromped through together have been gray.   But we stuck together during the times when others would have called it quits.    We consider ourselves lucky,  but it takes more than luck to hold a marriage together.   It takes hard work, patience and gentleness, kindness, laughter and love.

Ron and I have been blessed with a lifetime of imperfection, held together by love.

Tree planting bestWe commemorated that day by planting a sapling at the church,  which has grown into a lovely tree.  And that tree,  I’m sure, was grateful for The Wetting!

Dawn

PS- Just a tip to all the newlyweds:  If you each give 100% to the marriage, it works out to be 50/50.    Just saying . . . .

Adventure with Engagement AWE · Travel

Ping is not a game.

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We have choices:  stay home or travel.  We chose travel.   We had choices:  mix with the people, or go five-star guaranteeing a sizable financial commitment for comfort and isolation.  We chose to mix.

Paris is a forty-five minute train ride to the Village of Versailles campground we chose as home base.  Typical campground:  Inexpensive individual campsites, community gathering spots bathrooms/showers, little store . . . . nothing special.  Except for the people.  Families who stayed here represented more than six countries.  Adults couldn’t gather around the old wood stove chewing the fat with others unless they understood the languages.  The Hirn-Fam was limited to English and Spanish.

Kids don’t need language to communicate. Who needs words when you’ve got a ball?  Who needs an invitation when you’ve got a Ping Pong table?  My kids joined right into the international competition.  No translation is needed when you lob the ball over the net into enemy territory and it misses their paddle.  You know!  They know!

Colton and Trenton both wanted to give it their best for America!

 Our kids taught us more on this trip than we ever taught them, because we lived each day from their perspective. Fear wasn’t a factor.

Colton ping 2Even if you don’t get it at first, keep the conversation open!

And always join in for a moment of comic relief!

 You have a choice:  you can stay home or travel.  But remember, unless you mingle with the masses, you are just playing a game of Ping.  And Ping is not a game! 

Step outside your comfort zone into adventure by choosing to interact with those who aren’t from your neck of the woods. Otherwise, you’ll be stuck in the world of 600-thread count sheets and down comforters, in a very lonely game of Ping.

And Ping is not a game.

Dawn

Encouragement · Travel

Go Dog. Go!

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Go dog, go

P.D. Eastman wrote this book more than fifty years ago, using only 75 different words, as an inspiration to young readers. Funny. He liked the word “Go” so much he used it twice in the title. “Go.”  An action word, radiates a sense of ‘hurry up!’

“Go” is one of the Hirn Family favorite words too.  It’s an essential word, actually. There are places we have been that will never be the same again when we return because time eventually does that to a place.

love lock brWhen we visited the Love Locks Bridge in Paris (Pont des Arts), we were amazed by the number of locks attached to the bridge, placed there by visitors who vowed their everlasting love. “Engrave the lock, attach it to the bridge and throw the key in the Seine below.”  Before we left Paris, we affixed our own Hirn lock dedicated to our son and brother, Ryan, and inscribed with all of our names and the date.  Problem is, 45 tons of “love” all at once can and did cause a bridge a stability problem, and just a few years after we left, Paris decided to tear out the locks.  Safety and aesthetics, they said.

Lock on Paris's Pont des Artsbest boys lockSo . . . if you are thinking about taking a trip to one of those places on your bucket list, Go dog, go!  Now, before it’s too late.   Be the ones who share your stories and photos of places you were able to see up close and personal, not the ones who look back in regret at their ‘shoulda, woulda, coulda’s.’

The words of the great writers of children’s books, still carry their messages to those of us who have grown up.  (Sort of).  And I leave you with the words of Dr. Seuss:

You’re off to Great Places! Today is your day! Your mountain is waiting, So… get on your way!  

Go dog.  Go!

Dawn

Adventure with Engagement AWE · Family · Travel

Face your fears! You first.

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“Acrophobia” is not what I have.  “Acrophobia” is the irrational fear of heights.  Mine is rational.  (My diagnosis).

As a family, we always set goals, have contests, challenges and payoffs.  The ‘payoff’ part of this is usually holding the right to flaunt each accomplishment in the other’s face.  But regardless, it’s stimulus to achievement.

My family is aware of my fear of heights.  At the beginning of our trip while we were still in our planning phase, we all agreed to face our fears.  It was apparent by this time, Colton and I shared our fear of height.  And we were going to delay facing up to our shortcomings (so to speak) as long as possible.

Burj Khalifa in Dubai, the tallest free-standing building in the world at 2716 feet, was a no-brainer for Trenton, Tyler and Ron.  We (and by we I mean they) had already made it up to the top of  Kuala Lumpur’s 1483 ft. Petronas Twin towers. (This of course, allowed me to stand on the ground and photograph!)

piece of cake

By the time we hit Paris, I knew my turn to face my fear was coming.  The Eiffel Tower,  a mere 984 ft. off the ground,  seemed safer in the abstract.  Then,  I stood beneath it.  Colton braved up and said he would do it if I would, pointing out that in Lego building terms, the model is a mere 3428 Leggo blocks.  How scary can it be?

eiffle family

 

 

 

Colton fully conquered his fear of heights, once he got to the ground.  “Piece of cake!”

fam on eiffle

 

 

Mom is not there yet, but at least I don’t have to endure anymore chicken jokes.

Dawn