Parenting

potty talk

Alfred Hitchcock, one of the crown princes of filmmaking once said:  “The length of a film should be directly related to the endurance of the human bladder.”  Strange observation, but not for those who knew Hitch.

When you’ve gotta go, you’ve gotta go!  American parents of toddlers don’t take any chances and from the get-go clothe their babes in diapers.  But Chinese toddlers run commando, wearing kaidangku, pictured above.

Their little ones are taught potty training early in their lives.   Parents ‘hover’ their child over a toilet and give them this que:  Shush, Shush. But what happens when your take your child out for a day?  Oh, the stress!  Parents must remain alert, constantly vigilant, ready to find a bush, or a gutter, or a trash can, and teach their child the meaning of a whistle or “shush shush.’

 “On Command” doesn’t always work well for toddlers, who seem to learn tactics of war early.  The Chinese form of potty training takes incredible patience. Is it even possible to train American parents to endure this training?   We, who have mastered the term “Quick” and applied it to everything from food to banking to drive-thru Christmas nativity scenes, will begin looking for short cuts.  And a slit in your child’s pants may to be the answer. After all, who is really potty trained – the Parent or the child?

We are automatically inducted into the world of competition from the time we are born.  From your first word, to your first step, to your last diaper, your progress is measured against other babies. And the sad thing is, you have absolutely no control – you’re just a Pawn in the game of competition.

Now that the one-child policy in China has been lifted, we can only assume the current population increase of almost 8-million per year, will reach new heights.  Perhaps out of necessity  American quick fixes will catch on, and parents will trade in their kaidangku for a twelve-pack of Huggies.

There goes the landfill!

dawn

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