I am going to take a break from writing my blogpost every week. We’ve been at it for more than 4 years!
Can you believe it? Me neither.
Like most every college student, Tyler is home from Auburn and our family is all together here in Alexander City, Alabama. Every chair is filled with remarkable young men, and a couple of ol’ schoolers.
Our blessings outweigh any of our own fears because we know that God has the whole world in his hands.
My singular priority during these uncertain days is my family. Talk about limitless family time!
I will return when everything is clear.
In the meantime, we, at ryanshines.com, will continue to abide with you in unbreakable faith, hope and love.
It’s Saturday, October 13, 2001, roughly 3:00 in the pm, exactly 32 days after September 11; the horror of all horrors, my deepest rung of hell to-date. We’re on highway 83, along the Mexican border, in Texas, driving 70 miles an hour.
Out of nowhere, I hear a loud Bang!
Backfire? Bomb? My head exploding?
I notice Ron out of the corner of my eye.
He is tightening his grip on the steering wheel, trying to steer.
He loses control of the wheel. We are minus the tread on our rear tire.
Impossible!
There is no way to handle the crisis we’re in, our family’s SUV has started to skid.
Then it overturns.
We are rolling.
The car flips three or four times. We finally slide to a stop on the other side of the overpass.
That’s when our car burst into flames!
And my family and I are trapped inside.
We rescued everyone but Ryan.He died in the hellish fire.
The Recovery
We experienced all the pain there is, physically and emotionally. Light couldn’t crowbar its way into the dark night of the soul.
Did I tell you that we had two more little boys–Trenton and Colton. They were, along with Tyler, at the center of our recovery.
Moving to Alabama
We were in a fishbowl in South Texas. Most every day someone would stare, or ask about the accident.
We were known around town as the “sad family.” Alabama felt like the right place to keep moving forward.
Trenton, Colton, Tyler and Chloe
We enjoyed life on Lake Martin, homeschooling the boys for 5 years. It has been our refuge and I have done my most creative work there. It is our home and a quiet place to remember Ryan.
The boys are in school in Birmingham now, it’s where we have found community. It is also the place where we connect with pediatric burn survivors and firefighters.
My Blog
I’ve been through hell and back and I’ve wondered if there is a way I can offer what I’ve learned over these 16 years. I began writing down my feelings, and thoughts.
Suddenly I realized that I had all the makings of a blog. I publish my blog every week on Thursday.
It provides a way to help myself as I map my journey; but more than that, it gives me the opportunity to help others in their struggles.
Our Epic Trip
One of our sons suggested that we take a long learning vacation.
Everybody agreed. We spent almost every evening dreaming and talking about where and when. We decided to take a trip around the world.
Me, Tyler, Ron, Colton and Trenton in France
I had been home-schooling the boys anyway, and this would be an epic field trip. We made a list of the countries each of us wanted to visit, and everyone prepared reports on their countries.
Hirn family in China
The trip was beautiful and challenging. We were all together. We were laminated.
The Camping Connection
We knew we wanted to establish a Pediatric Burn Camp to honor Ryan, and while we were exploring our options we discovered that firefighters created and ran burn camps around the country.
They invested heart and soul into the camps and the children! That grew into a partnership between our burn foundation (RyanShines) and firefighters.
Firefighters
We needed chaperones for our first fishing event (“Catching Courage”).
Guess who stepped into the spotlight?
FIREFIGHTERS!
They didn’t need a lot of instruction.
They are “the naturals.”
Their way with our burn kids is enveloped in respect and genuine friendship.
Picture it: two heroes sitting together ‘sharing with understanding.’
RyanShines Burn Foundation
I love the sound of these two words that are hooked together like a train: RyanShines!
It is named for Ryan, of course.
“Ryan Shines” mosaic in Children’s Pavilion of IMAS, McAllen, TX
But it comes from a work of art at the International Museum of Art and Science in McAllen, TX.
It is a twenty-foot mosaic and the designer dedicated it to Ryan.
The mosaic is called “Ryan Shines.”
Out of that holy name came every good Gift that shines on the children and firefighters.
Our mission is that “no burned child be left behind, and no firefighter will be forgotten.”
Islamorada
Every year we take pediatric burn survivors and firefighters to Islamorada in the Florida keys.
Catching Courage Keys Edition
The first year we took 7 firefighters and 6 burn survivors. This year, our 3rd, we are taking 40 firefighters and 10 burn survivors, from 6 states.
Peer Support Team for Firefighters
We realized that our firefighters are first to a fire. They rescue children, adults, and pets.
But who rescues the firefighters? Who stands beside them? Firefighters undergo injuries, grief, risk, fear, and death. Alabama is #2 in suicides over work-related deaths in the United States.
Ryan Shines is a proud partner in our state’s first Alabama Firefighter Peer Support team(ALFFPS). We are talking about ‘healing by listening,’ and putting them together with their peer-brothers who understand what really goes on in the body, soul, and life of a firefighter.
“Catching Courage” Events
These outdoor events consist of fishing, hunting, kayaking, snorkeling, swimming with dolphins, and any team-building with pediatric burn survivors and firefighters.
This year we hosted our first Catching Courage Family Camp.
They are all designed to create healing, developing bonds between the participants, and building lasting relationships.
Our 5-year Plan
The future is as unlimited as the horizon. Here’s what we see ahead…
Organizing 4 Catching Courage events per year in each of the 50 states.
Taking a team of 4 firefighters from each state, each year to our Catching Courage event in the Keys.
Creating a statewide Firefighter Peer Support Team in every state that needs one.
Growing burn children into good, honest, productive and confident citizens.
It’s a strange moment in the Christmas jingle when they sit by the fire in winter and dream of facing the future without fear.
We sit together this week, basking in the soft glow of candlelight, our hearts warmed by old, old stories and familiar faces.
It’s easy to think that the Christmas Season is mostly about the size and temperature of the stable, the wisdom of the three kings, about Mary’s hope, the innkeeper’s hospitality, the songs of angels, and the birth of the child.
The main characters of the Story wrestle with a lot of fear, even terror.
It’s true about every one of us.
We read about Mary’s anxiety, Joseph’s fear of marriage, the shepherds’ fright over the angel-choir, King Herod’s anger, the wise men’s terror of King Herod’s wrath.
Every scene in the Story moves between fascination and fear, between terror and wonder.
There is no emotion in this Story that we haven’t felt.
The question posed to each character, and to each of us is this: “will we, at this crucial moment in our lives, be frozen in our fear, or lured on by the “Wonder of the star?”
Dawn, Lovely & Kaleigh
We at RyanShines are committed to riding the emotional roller-coaster with our dear burn survivors and firefighters.
We stand by our purpose that “no burn child will be left behind and no Firefighter is forgotten.”
Happy Holidays to everyone, from Ron, Dawn, Tyler, Trenton, Colton & (angel Ryan) Hirn
Nobody knows how it feels to be a child on fire except other burned children.
Though I wasn’t burned as a child, I understand that many pediatric burn survivors turn into turtles.
They start hiding for a good reason.
Kaleigh
Public scarring.
One of Ryan Shines’ burn kids, Kaleigh, was burned in an electrical fire.
She was severely burned on her arms, stomach, and upper legs.
She tended to keep her head down, feeling great shame.
Humiliation tried to take her down.
But our “Catching Courage” events raised her up.
I want you to meet the new version of Kaleigh.
She has spent much of her young life trying to come to terms with her burns.
And she is.
Even though the pain in her eyes was obvious, now you can see something new being born in her.
Kaleigh found her Sparkle.
Let me give you an example.
She met a fellow 13-year-old burn survivor named ‘Lovely,’ and they began a wonderful friendship.
Every time they get together at one of our Catching Courage Events, they are inseparable and the sparks fly.
Their ‘God-sparks’ shine like polished steel.
Let me tell you what happened to these girls early this month.
One of our firefighters had overheard Kaleigh and Lovely talking together about their dreams of the future(this was at our Catching Courage family weekend).
They were saying how they wish they could be models someday but knew it would be impossible because of their scars.
Our firefighter shared how sad he was when he heard these two 13-year-old girls talking about their dreams of the future and what is not possible anymore.
A friend of his, who happens to own a dress shop–Jo Wells in Montgomery–decided to step into the situation, and open her shop and her heart to them.
“I want those girls to model my clothes in my shop,” she said.
So, she arranged a photoshoot and called us at “Ryan Shines” to invite the girls to come model for her.
The word spread like a great party.
Heroes of Montgomery, AL Fire & Rescue
Countless firefighters from Montgomery climbed on board with us and even brought their big red firetruck.
Suddenly, there was an influx of new friends we didn’t know we had!
What a celebration!
Lovely, Kaleigh and me
We were celebrating Kaleigh and Lovely!
And the dreams they were dreaming were already beginning to blossom.
Don’t you just love that?!
dawn
BTW-(If this is something that you would like to support, please visit us at www.ryanshines.com or follow us on FB and IG @Ryanshinesburnfoundation)
She is so little for all the machines surrounding in the burn hospital, giving and taking.
Shanghai General Hospital , China
She had suffered through God knows how many surgeries, not to mention the endless skin-graphs.
Did I tell you we met her in China at the burn hospital in Bejing?
So many children, so little time!
Molly
You know the feeling of wanting to take them home with us in.
We brought a big white stuffed dog for Molly.
When our Tyler bent down eye-to-eye with Molly he gave her his high-beam smile (a wonderful gift in itself); then, he took the big dog out of it’s red package and handed it to her.
Tyler
We were all happy-surprised when she reached out on her own to take it from Tyler.
She turned to her mother and hugged her with her dog between them.
Every door in my heart blew open.
I was full of love for Molly, but I had some questions.
When she leaves here will she be stroller’d out into the great outdoors?
As she grows, will she pedal down neighborhood streets on her two-wheeler?
Will the other children accept her?
Will she swing around the pole of parking meters?
When she sleeps will she reach out for stars?
I look at her mother and remembered every emotion rocking her heart.
All I want to do is to sweep Molly up and rock her for a solid month-and-a-half.
dawn
BTW-(If this is something that you would like to support, please visit us at www.ryanshines.com or follow us on FB and IG @dawnraymondhirn)
How does Ryan Shines help support our Firefighters?
We’re building a community at Ryan Shines that recognizes that Firefighters are stronger when they face their daily internal reality together and head-on.
We want this community of trust to be available to every Career&Volunteer&Retired Firefighter in America.
We want to show them that Firefighters don’t ever have to live or die alone.
So we will join their band of brothers and sisters from across the state to form a support network for the mental and physical health of their fellow Firefighters by providing trained assistance through a “Firefighter Peer Support” Team.
Let me tell you the story about a Fire Chief in Alabama. His name is Mark Sealy and he oversees 24 fire stations in Mobile.
His best friend, a fellow Firefighter, suffered and died from PTSD.
All he knew was to self-medicate.
That’s the day when the Chief really ‘got it.’
His friend had survived every emergency that Firefighters face but his ‘internal Civil War’ took him out.
So, Mark not only knows everything first hand about firefighting but he has also been at the center of personal tragedy himself.
And he’s so open and eager that our common dream of ‘Peer Support’ take root and grow.
In other words, we ‘drank the kool-aid.’
I wish I could clone him and send him to every fire station in the country.
This is what we are developing in our own circle of influence.
We have created our first of many statewide Support Teams called “Alabama Firefighter Peer Support” at Ryan Shines.
Now, I am not fluent in ‘Firefighter,’ but I do understand personal trauma and the aftermath (PTSD), and the importance of finding friends you can trust.
You’ll find men and women with whom you can speak in a kind of ‘shorthand’ because they intimately know the words and the feelings that have been burned into their brain since their first fire.
Ryan
Every day I wish Ryan was here. But when I look at all we’re doing together, he is no less than the engine driving us, and his is the Shining that lights our way.
dawn
BTW-(If this is something that you would like to support, please visit us at www.ryanshines.com or follow us on FB and IG @dawnraymondhirn)
Can you imagine every time you go off to work you’re putting yourself in harm’s way?
(And here I am afraid of roaches.)
Having met hundreds of Firefighters, every time I watch them work together, I am stunned by their compassionate Souls.
And their instinct to rescue, anyone or anything that is in danger.
It’s in their DNA. These remarkable people are a breed apart.
A blind man can see that.
So, let me ask you, “Would you consider running into fires for a living?” They do. Everyday.
I’m not saying they’re gods.
They are human beings like us.
But it’s their passion that sets them apart. It is their curse and their blessing.
They live between a rock and a soft place.
Trust me, I know what I’m talking about here.
I live in the South. In Alabama.
Can you believe that we’re ranked #2 in Firefighter suicide over work-related deaths in our country? And it’s prevalent nationwide.
In the face of all this, I feel ashamed for not observing that these quiet heroes, imprisoned by workplace heartache and trauma, want to end their lives.
Why don’t they just ask for help? Because…
It’s not in their job description. Their job is to save others, not themselves.
Which means that it’s our job to support those who risk it all to rescue others.
Next week, I’d like to talk about how Ryan Shines offers support.
dawn
BTW-(If this is something that you would like to support, please visit us at www.ryanshines.com or follow us on FB and IG @dawnraymondhirn)
So, we created a fishing event called “Catching Courage,” including both Burn Survivors and Firefighters at the same event.
Part of our mission at Ryan Shines Burn Foundation is to get both groups together at one place for bonding, healing, and serious fun!
We are creating a safe place where our Survivors and Firefighters can be together, fish together, and reconnect after the fire.
Catching Courage 2018 – Survivors & Firefighters
That’s why our mission is so rare.
I wish you could see both groups enjoying each other and asking each other real life-questions.
We didn’t know what to expect.
I thought the kids might be shy but they talked with each other on the same level: Hero-to-Hero!
This year, we continue honoring both groups in a Saltwater Fishing Tournament (“Catching Courage”).
It will involve multi-state Firefighters and it will be hosted by our ‘First Mates,’ our youth Burn Survivors.
Our hope is that every youth Burn Survivor and Firefighter leaves for home with a full heart; encouraged and more courageous as they learn to tell their story and catch everyday courage from each other.
Catching Courage 2018 Islamorada, FL
dawn
PS- Next time, I’d like for us to talk about ‘the sacrifices our Firefighters make.’
BTW-(If this is something that you would like to support, please visit us at www.ryanshines.com or follow us on FB and IG @dawnraymondhirn)
Dawn Raymond Hirn 